“I’ll always treat you like my equal. I would do anything to make you happy. I would go to any extreme to make sure all your dreams come true. Just say yes!”
My husband made this beautiful proposal as we celebrated a year of dating each other. With our MBA college course coming to end, he was sure that we were cut for each other.
Though he made the promise to make me happy for life, what he never knew that his own mother would stand in his way of keeping his promise!
This is the story of how my mother-in-law failed not only daughter-in-law but also her own son; just to please her shallow ego and insecurities.
Like any new bride, I was extremely happy to marry a guy who loved me and wanted to be part of my life. The way he respected my parents to how he made sure that I never have to sacrifice my dreams, I felt that it could be the best decision of my life. But I hardly knew that this loving relationship came with the worst nightmare, my mother-in-law.
During the first few visits, she appeared to be a nice person. And, I felt even luckier to have a mother-in-law, who was so welcoming. But as they say, the reality starts unfolding with the passing time.
With time, I realized that being good and welcoming was just a pretense.
But I still kept an open mind and hoped that things would get better with time. As the wedding day arrived and marriage functions started, it was very clear that my mother-in-law was extremely possessive and insecure about her son.
She was only “tolerating” me because she knew how much his son loved me.
Sadly, even after the realization, I went ahead with the marriage. I ignored the early signs. At that time, I wasn’t aware of the huge mess that I was getting into. But after the wedding, there was nothing hidden. I came to know the ugly reality of my mother-in-law’s nature.
Whenever I did anything for my husband, she tried to prove that she could do it better than me. She left no stone unturned in making me feel lesser than her. She kept criticizing my gestures by telling me that my husband would not like it. Time and again, she claimed she knew my husband better than I did.
And whenever my husband appreciated me in front of her, she will create a drama where my husband would feel guilty for appreciating her wife more than her mother.
With every passing day, her possessiveness and insecurities kept rising. She would ill-treat me when no one was around, criticize me, order me to do everything, and insult me with unkind remarks.
She kept reminding me that her son loved her more than me.
But, she was a completely different person in front of my husband. When my husband was home, she’d paint a completely different picture in which she treated me lovingly. She showed him that she cared deeply for me.
But one-day things changed forever.
Realizing how I always wanted to start my business, my husband suggested that I should join his business. My mother-in-law could not tolerate it and she burst out dramatically saying horrible things to me in front of her son.
From calling me characterless & a whore, my mother-in-law called bad names to my parents as well. This was the moment, I regretted marrying into a family where people had double standards, where there was no respect for each other, and feelings of jealousy and insecurity existed against their own daughter-in-law.
When my husband witnessed everything that she was saying to me, he realized how badly his mother was treating me.
I had already developed hatred towards my mother-in-law. But after that day, I lost even the last bit of respect for her.
I realized I couldn’t live in that house anymore. My husband promised that he will fix everything otherwise, we both will move out of that house, which doesn’t treat his wife with respect.
I trusted my husband and he kept his promise. His mother-in-law refused to change her behavior, so we moved out. We took a place within 5 mins from his parents’ place. We made sure that we live nearby so that in case there is any medical emergency, we can rush.
But, my husband made sure that I don’t live in a house where there was no respect for me.
It breaks my heart how a girl, who leaves her entire life behind and moves with her husband, is insulted and ill-treated at her new home. This girl moved to a new family hoping that she will get love and acceptance. But, all she gets is insult and hatred.
Dear in-laws, if you can’t treat her like your daughter, at least don’t abuse or harass her to the extent that she starts hating you.
It is heartbreaking how even after having a daughter, my mother-in-law has no qualms in ill-treating me. She doesn’t even think how would she feel if her daughter is treated in the same way as she treated me.
