Many of us dream of a perfect marriage! A perfect relationship in which we are the leading ladies and our husbands are heroes! But, this illusion or this fantasy only remains till the day we get married, and the reality hits. It hits us so badly that many are left broken and cheated.
With time, we realize that neither we are the leading ladies nor our husbands are any heroes. We tend to forget how the success of a marriage is not only decided by wife and husband, but also by his family – who in name of parenting, tend to control their son and his wife. They don’t shy away from controlling the couple even if their control destroys their son’s marriage.
Now before you read any further – here is a much-needed disclaimer. All in-laws are not the same. There are many supportive in-laws and if you are blessed with them, you are very fortunate. And, I am happy for you. But there are still many, who are struggling with controlling in-laws. Just because it’s not your reality that doesn’t mean, it’s not true!
My mother-in-law seems to be a very kind person. She never openly says what the problem is. But, she makes it a point that her son understands why his wife isn’t a good fit for him and his family. She loves me in front of her son so that my husband always believes her side of the story! This hypocrisy never ends as the stupid son believes his mother blindly on everything that she says!
This is how my mother-in-law turns to be the leading lady and I – the villain of my married life!
Soon after my marriage, I realize that daughter-in-law can never be daughter and mother-in-law can never be mother… at least not mine. Even though it would be her son’s mistake, she would blame me; Even though it may be her son’s decision, she will curse me.
Even though things may have happened out of bad luck, she will pin it on my kundli!
Even when I cry, rather than offering me a shoulder to lean on, she will ask me – “Is my son feeling ok? Is his mood bad? Why do you fight with him?” Once my husband fell ill, guess whose fault was it? Mine.
She is so insecure about her place in her son’s life, that she doesn’t leave a chance for me to create mine.
Even when my husband takes a day off to spend time with me, my mother-in-law will have issues. She will either tell him to do certain work or take her to the doctor or to a distant relative’s place. She will definitely give him a lecture on how work is more important. But when it comes to her, nothing is more important. She expects my husband to treat her as his top priority.
To make sure that we don’t spend quality time together, she made my husband cancel our honeymoon.
She lectured him how money is important and we shouldn’t spend it on vacation. Rather we should invest. And, the sincere son honored his mother’s words by canceling the trip.
Her attempt to control us and our marriage has left me feeling so lonely.
I feel heartbroken and cheated. Now with time, my expectations from this marriage are also fading away. I feel like a maid in this house who has been hired to serve my husband and his mother.
I don’t think my husband understands how it feels to be a daughter-in-law who is controlled 24*7; he doesn’t understand how it feels to be treated as an outsider; he doesn’t understand how it feels to have three people in marriage!
More than my mother-in-law, I am disappointed with my husband for not taking a stand for our marriage.
I wonder will my husband ever realize that I left my family to be part of his? Will he ever realize the extent of this sacrifice that I made for this marriage to work?
Like many married women, as I battle in my marriage, I hope new era moms will be different. Not only they will teach their sons to take a stand for marriage but will also find happiness in their son’s happiness; not in control. Rather than being mamma’s boy, they will teach their sons to man up!