“Oh, do you have a boyfriend? Girls of good families don’t get into a relationship before marriage! You should get married!”
“You shouldn’t wear such clothes! Girls of good families don’t wear such clothes!”
“Did you lose your job? So what are you planning to do next? Don’t take it easy. You need to try harder as the market conditions are bad. Keep trying and don’t waste time with friends or watching series!”
“Oh, you are 28 now when are you getting married? It’s already too late! You will soon stop getting any good proposals.”
These are some of the irritating questions that my nosy relatives, whom I even hardly know keep asking me. And, every time, in our head, we just have one thing to say:
Dear Nosy Relative, Stop being an expert on our lives! Please mind your own business.
But I am not alone, they don’t leave my sister alone too. My sister has undergone two miscarriages. And, I know how much she and my brother-in-law wants to be parents but because of recent medical complications, they are finding it hard to conceive. But, my nosy relatives, who don’t know anything about their struggle or lives, don’t shy away from making a comment.
“You are married for 5 years now, when are you having kids? It’s already too late! Don’t delay any further!”
Now, my sister refuses to come to any family functions because she doesn’t want to face these nosy relatives who neither understand nor respect people’s boundaries. And, I don’t blame her!
I know how tough it could be to see these nosy relatives judging you and then sharing unsolicited advice as they are the subject matter expert of your life.
But, it’s not only us who are cursed to have nosy relatives. Doesn’t matter how much we love our family, we all have that one family member who cannot mind his/her own business. That one person could be an aunt, a grandparent, or an uncle or a cousin or if you are married, it could be your in-laws. And, in case you are really unlucky, you may have several. Or, like, your entire family. If that’s the case, I am so sorry for your struggle.
Because it’s never easy to keep calm when you are surrounded by people who have no shame in asking nosy personal questions every time you meet them. It is so hurtful that these people don’t even understand the idea of boundaries. They have a knack for picking up the most personal topics that you do not want to discuss with them.
Some of my nosy relatives hold a doctorate degree in picking up the most personal matter and then dissecting it till either it leaves me angry, irritated, or make me feel worthless about myself!
They have the skill for bringing up the exact topics that you do not want to talk about, like a recent break-up or recent job loss or unemployment or exam failure or delay in marriage or pregnancy issues and much more!
I wonder what these nosy relatives get out of asking mean-spirited questions and then leaving you with judgmental or offensive remarks? So, here’s a short note to such nosy relatives:
Dear Nosy Relative,
Please stop being an expert on my life. Please stop giving me unsolicited advice. Please passing judgment on the way I live my life.
If I am married, unmarried, divorced, or in live-in, trust me it’s none of your business.
When I am planning to have kids or if I am not to, again it’s none of your business.
If I am pursuing my dream career and not focusing on the career that you think is right for me, again it’s none of your business.
I do understand that you mean well and don’t want me to make mistakes. Trust me your advice won’t stop me from making mistakes. I am fine making mistakes because – I learn from my mistakes, I grow from my mistakes and I am proud of my mistakes.
But what I am not fine with is the fact that without knowing anything about my struggle or my challenges, you are quick to pass on your mean-spirited judgments to make yourself feel better at the expense of my pain and my failure.
So, don’t waste your energy and time giving me unsolicited advice. Because I am going to do things my way. I am going to live my life on my own terms. You need to respect my boundaries and privacy! And for the last time, please remember:
My business is my business. It’s none of your business.