Modern Indian Women open up about their struggles and humiliation that they faced while seeking an alliance through Indian Arranged Marriages.
Some of these responses on Quora were not only bizarre but also a painful reflection of our patriarchal society!
#1. Him: So, how do you commute to work every day?
Me: Actually, I work in sales and it gets tiring.
#2. I am a female and have been selected as a combat lady officer. It’s field service. I have worked as a primary school teacher and was selected there too.
I don’t understand why guys can’t handle a girl with the pistol in her hands and biceps in her arms. I am not being feminist here. It’s just my personal perception.
#3. I am an obese girl with a good height and average looks. It was an arranged marriage scenario wherein the guy’s family came to see me.
The guy sounded cool. I specifically asked him if he or his family has any problem with my weight as I had already tried all weight reducing techniques and wanted someone who understands me as a person.
He agreed to everything but ever since we got engaged, his mother and sister started forcing me to lose weight.
When I told this to my fiance he was like it’s not a big deal to reduce weight and you should try to lose some. I felt like cheated. It stressed me out so much that instead of reducing I gained even more weight.
#4. My parents are seeking girls for my younger brother since last 2-3 years. He is handsome and tall but does nothing at home.
Not just that, he doesn’t care at all about the nature of the girls he sees. There is nothing like an emotional bonding to say the least. I feel bad for the girl whom he will marry as she will have to do a lot for him while he won’t even move his ass.
#5. My sister is an IT professional. When we were looking for marriage proposals for her, there was this lady who had one demand.
Moreover, she wanted my sister to do the cooking since she herself hated it. We were like it would be a situation of paid slavery wherein we would be paying to work at her home. Obviously, we rejected the match.
#6. They told my dad that money is not a matter for them and they only want a decent and educated girl.
In the second meeting, my father asked them about their demands. Then, they started to show their true colours.
The net expense of all this was around 35 lakhs. Soon after, my dad stood up, did namaste and left after telling them that they should keep their boy.
#7. My friend’s sister was to get married. While the family was arranging a groom for her, she received a notification from a matrimonial site of a guy who was a civil judge.
One day, the guy asked the girl’s family if they could talk about the gifts they were going to give. The girl’s family was stunned and her father told him that he didn’t mention any such thing so far. To which the guy said:
#8. This happened to one of my relatives. Since we are against dowry, it was strictly mentioned in her matrimony profile.
My uncle and aunt went to meet the guy’s family. The guy’s family said that “We do not want any dowry but, we want to know about the stuff you are going to give to your daughter.” They also said:
Of course, the marriage was cancelled but it was a hell lot of mental affliction for my uncle’s family, especially the girl.
#9. On the first day of the meeting, the guy’s mother took me around the mall and explained how I should start wearing more modern dresses, wear more make-up and start looking after my appearance.
She said that I should visit the dietitian because I was thin, a dermatologist because I had dark spots and a parlour because my hair was thin despite the length. His dad also called my father and gave numbers of those specialists. He messaged me telling how important it was for me to take care of my beauty!
#10. This is how the conversation went with one of the guys I’d met.
Him: Do you still plan to continue with your trips abroad after marriage?
#11. A potential groom, now an IPS officer, told me to quit my ambition to pursue an MBA. Civil servants get posted in tier 2 cities, and he believed that it would be difficult to find a job for me there.
He said that the money wouldn’t matter as he would be a civil servant earning through both direct and indirect means. I am really worried about such people managing the country.
#12. Our families decided to meet at my place and all his dad could do was talk about how good his son looked.
When my aunt enquired about the guy’s qualification and job profile, she found out that he still hadn’t cleared backlogs in engineering and does nothing for a living except spending his dad’s money.
#13. My mom was fed up with calling the prospective groom’s parents. So she made me do it. I rang up one fateful number and the lady seemed cordial initially.
Pretending to be my own mother, I gave a brief introduction of myself. The next question she asks:
I said yes and she asked to contact in the evening when her husband came home. Like hell, I was going to!