“Shikha, can you find my belt, I couldn’t find it?” “Shikha can you make Rajma as my mother does?” “Shikha, my shirt isn’t ironed! You forgot to iron it and now I don’t have clothes to wear to the office!” “Shikha, you didn’t wake me up in the morning and now I am late for the office!”… my husband’s list of complaints against me is endless. But this isn’t just me. I’ve met so many Indian men and women who make me believe that Indian Men are really confused about what marriage stands for.
Our society suffers from ‘Raja Beta’ Syndrome that raises pampered sons and horrible husbands! These men assume that women are there to serve them. Be it their mother, wife, daughter, or sister. They believe that they are entitled to make endless demands to them and the women are expected to deliver. That’s the core reason why Indian marriages have become a trap for Indian women to give up their independence, dreams, and happiness for their husbands! Indian marriages are losing their significance because of becoming an institution where women suffer and men enjoy!
Being a strong and independent woman, I never felt the need to marry. I never wanted to have the same fate as that of my mother. While I was living my life on my own terms, my mother and father felt the urge to get married. And, after taking a strong stand against my own parents, I gave up! I gave up to the pressure of society’s unrealistic label of ‘being settled’ only if you are married! I shut my inner voice of leading life as per my terms, just because I got blinded by the love of my parents!
Now after being married for 5 years and listening to endless stories of my friends, cousins, and colleagues, I have come to the conclusion that Indian men are confused between the life partner and babysitter. Sadly, the majority of Indian men want a babysitter and not an equal partner. They want someone who takes care of them, handles them with care when they throw tantrums, and fulfill their demands – justified or unjustified.
As I write this short letter, I have a humble request to parents to stop raising spoilt men. And, I want to let every girl know – it doesn’t matter what your age is – marriage doesn’t make you settled. It is your career, independence, and self-reliance. So, rather than getting married to a man who treats you like a babysitter or maid, either be single or wait to marry someone who understands the difference between a soulmate and a maid!
I hope every Indian girl reads this letter before its too late! And, hope every Indian parent makes sure that they don’t raise bad husbands! Because we already have so many bad husbands, that we don’t need more!