How could you leave your husband? What will society say? What will happen to your kids?
This is what a woman is asked when she gathers the courage to leave an abusive marriage.
And, sometimes even a strong woman accepts to stay back in a toxic relationship just for the sake of her kids’ better future. She believes the lies that society tells her about how kids from broken homes are also broken or how incapable she is of taking care of the kids.
Finding herself alone to stand against the abuse, she accepts and agrees to suffer in silence.
But sadly, no one tells her how her kids get affected if she chose to stay in a toxic marriage. No one tells her the misery and the suffering that kids go through when they see one of the parents abusing the other.
Vaayu’s inspiring story is one such story of love, toxicity, and strength.
While sharing with HoB about her parent’s toxic marriage and how she saw her mother suffer throughout her marriage, Vaayu mentioned:
“All my life, I’ve seen my mother being abused at the hands of my father.
Although we lived in a joint family, nobody ever raised their voice against it and when I tried, I was told to make peace with the situation. My father never spoke to me or cared about my life, which is why I don’t share a good relationship with him.
I remember, once, it was my parents’ anniversary, so I went to wish them. But my father taunted me saying he didn’t need my wishes. My mother defended me and said that I was just being nice.
I was about to walk out, when from the corner of my eye, I saw a shoe being flung at my mother’s face.
I rushed to save her – I was so angry, that I turned and slapped my father. I just couldn’t take it anymore! After that, he beat me black and blue – that was the first time he’d raised his hand on me. Both my mother and I wanted to leave, but we weren’t financially stable.
So for years we were stuck in this hideous cycle of torture.
Things changed when I started college – I found my happy place. I discovered my passion for dancing too and used it to channel all my emotions. But it was only for a short period of time. One day, when I got back home from college, I saw my mom’s face, all bruised.
My dad was about to hit her again, when I came in the middle. He hit me and slammed me to the ground.
The impact was so bad that it damaged my neck and spine. I was on the verge of unconsciousness when my mother took me to the hospital – there, the doctors said that there was no chance of me dancing again.
My world came crashing down – I had to pay a heavy price for something I didn’t deserve.
But I knew I had to step up and somehow get me and my mother out of this. As I started getting better, because we had nowhere else to go, we shifted to a well-wishers house in Chennai for a while. It wasn’t easy, leaving my whole world behind, but I had to do it. I even took up a job there to sustain us.
Eventually my mother filed for divorce and the case began.
With a little help from relatives and friends, and with whatever I’d saved, we shifted to a rental apartment in Mumbai. We fought hard and long to be compensated, and we fought to free ourselves from his clutches. Finally my parents got divorced, I got a stable job and we started a new life.
But even today, we’re battling the aftermath of the trauma.
I’m still suffering because of my spine injury, and my mothers bruises may have disappeared, but the internal wounds are still there. But I refuse to lose faith – because even though no one was standing with us, we managed to do what was right for us.
It was us against the world, and we won – and that’s not going to change anytime soon.”
At I FOR HER, we celebrate Vaayu and her mom’s courage to finally move out of the toxic relationship.
We hope her story inspires many more to gather the courage to stand against the abuse and the abuser!
If you know of anyone who is struggling in a toxic marriage, please don’t tell her to stay in a toxic relationship for any reason! Please don’t convince her that lack of financial stability is a good enough reason to be mistreated, insulted and abused.
Rather help her find ways to move out of a toxic relationship because no one deserver to suffer in silence.