“Reena, please grow up! Stop picking fights with my parents!” “But, Rahul, I wasn’t picking any fight with them! I was just telling them that I won’t quit my job!” ”Reena, you could have simply ignored them! Why do you always have to react to whatever they say to you!”
“Reena, can you act like a mature person? Please stop reacting when people say things that you don’t like!” “Rahul, your parents were shaming my parents! How could you even accept me to be silent?” ”Reena, I don’t know why you overreact every time my parents say anything to you or to your parents!”
It is shocking how Indian men are quick to call their wives immature or stupid for standing against their parents’ abusive behaviour. The common and the most prevalent phrase – “Let It go! Ignore what they say” is how Indian Men justify their parents’ abusive behaviour!
Even after being a double graduate and handling a senior management role in MNC, my husband believes that I don’t know how to manage myself or control my emotions! It is quite disappointing how a man who called me mature, smart and intelligent; suddenly starting preaching me to grow-up just because I refused to accept his parents’ abusive behaviour!
But, this is not just my story! There are many women who are being blamed and shamed for raising their voices against the abusive behaviour. It is disappointing how even our well-educated men force their wives to succumb to the abusive behaviours of their parents. While they shame their wives for not respecting their parents enough, the men themselves tend to forget that – Respect is a two-way street! While they blame their wives for picking up fight with their parents, they show zero guts to stop their parents’ abusive behaviour.
Dear Indian Men,
Please stop telling your wives that they are immature, just because they refuse to ignore your parents’ abusive behaviour! Please stop shaming and blaming us for not accepting your parents’ abusive behaviour! Stop telling us to ignore or let it go! Stop being a spineless husband, who has no courage to stand for your wife against your family’s abusive behaviour!
Even if you can’t fight for us, please atleast stop telling us that we are immature for standing for our dignity! Stop shaming us for taking a stand for ourselves against abuse! Stop asking us to accept your parents’ abusive behaviour in name of family values, traditions and sanskaar!
Because accepting someone’s behaviour doesn’t even make us sanskaari nor mature! So, next time when your wife takes a stand against the abuse, rather than telling her to grow up, why don’t you show some guts and take a stand for her!