“Rajiv, it’s 7:30am! Megha sleeps until this late. This isn’t right. I don’t like this! Please ask her to wake up early from tomorrow. After all, she is daughter-in-law of this house, she needs to get up before any one else does!”
“Rajiv, I don’t understand why your wife has problem with everything. Even if she doesn’t like what your aunty said, she could have kept her mouth shut. Why she argues with elders so much! She doesn’t have any care about our respect!”
“Rajiv, tell your wife that your father doesn’t like it when she stays at office so late! She needs to understand that we live in a society and there are people who talk at our back! You better tell her that she needs to follow the rules of our home! She came to our home, we didn’t go to hers.”
“It is shocking how your wife talks to you. Could you please ask her to address you as ‘aap’ You are not in a college anymore! You should tell her this is not a movie!”
“Did you see how she spoke to her sister-in-law? You should tell your wife that she needs to respect your sister. After all, she is elder to you!”
The list is endless. It is heart-breaking how many women across the Indian homes struggle in their marriage. Sadly, our own husbands expect us to forget our desires and hopes in light of what others expect us to do!
Our husbands, whom we love so much, have no shame in asking us to give up our dreams and desires. Even after knowing that it would cause us pain, discomfort, unhappiness and loneliness. They still expect us to bow down because it becomes a grave matter of everyone else’s ego.
I don’t know why, but Indian households have this assumption that only daughter-in-law has to change; she has to fit in the given family culture and traditions; she need to listen to others and make sure that she doesn’t do or say something that may hurt the sensitive egos! Because in the end, the marriage for woman is all about managing shallow egos at all costs; even if it means she has to compromise on her dignity, self-pride and happiness!
Though the times have changed, but sadly our Indian men still promote the regressive thought process. Indian men still believe that they have done a favour to their wives by getting married to them!
Marriage is a union of two individuals, who are equal. But, Indian men and their families still believe that they have done a favour to girl and her family! They still believe that it is the woman, who should compromise and make endless adjustments. But why? Why should she keeps changing herself till the time she breaks? In 21st century, many men and their families still struggle to understand the concept of equal marriage and expects women to bow down to all their unrealistic requests and demand!
Women have no right to speak her mind! But everyone else can!
While anyone and everyone can say anything to her, she should be careful not to say a single word that can hurt shallow egos of her in-laws and husband. It is sad how a home that was promised to us after marriage but turned into a jail where we need to follow the rules to please others’ egos!
It is heart-breaking how many women slip into anxiety and depression after marriage. All because how badly they are treated after marriage! It is sad how they are expected to make endless sacrifices and compromises to make others happy!
It is quite shameful how everything that we do is attached to everyone’s ego. What we wear; what we say; how we talk; how we smile; everything has a consequence on people’s shallow egos! But, we didn’t marry to manage egos! We didn’t marry to give up all our happiness to make people with insecurities happy!
Dear Indian Men, We didn’t marry you to please the shallow egos of your family. We married to realize our dreams and ambitions! We married to stay happy! So, please stop forcing us to trade our happiness for delicate egos!