In 21st century, many marriages are running into trouble because all the adjustments and compromises are expected only from women. From adjusting to a new home to making compromises for others’ desires to prioritizing others happiness over our own, we expect everything from women. It is heartbreaking how a similar level of expectation and adjustment is missing from the husbands!
The worst part is that we tend to pretend that we are modern; we believe in equality, but still, we tend to force women to bear all the burden of compromises and adjustment. We keep telling women and our daughters that women are equal to men, but as soon as it comes to marriage, we tend to make assumptions that compromises and adjustments would be made only by her! After all, we have raised her to sacrifice her dreams and happiness for others; because that’s what sanskaari bahu and wife would do!
But, why should women bear this burden alone? Why should it be assumed that women would sacrifice or compromise or make adjustments for everybody? When both men and women entered into marriage, then why only one is always asked for compromises and adjustments!
Don’t get me wrong! Men do sacrifice, compromise and adjust. But, most of the time it is for their parents, siblings or distant relatives. When it comes to making sacrifices, compromises or adjustments in marriage, our men look at their wives to do so!
If it comes to switching jobs, pursuing a career after motherhood, taking care of kids and elders, managing household chores, why men always assume that their wives would sacrifice or compromise!
And, that’s the reason why many marriages in today’s era are struggling. There is a huge pile of adjustments, compromises and sacrifices that our men expect their wives to make, but they hardly make any themselves. And even if they do, they make it for their parents and family!
I just want to know why our Indian men are ready to make sacrifices, compromises and adjustments for their parents but none for their wives. We do understand that parents have done so much for them. But so have their wives.
Women leave their homes to be with you; Sometimes, they leave their jobs to make sure you don’t have to compromise; they sacrifice their happiness so that you don’t have to!
These sacrifices and adjustments leave them with so much emptiness – emotional, professional and social. And, when they expect you to help them in healing their soul, they just get disappointment and only disappointment.
Dear Men, why you let your wives suffer alone! Why their tears don’t melt your heart? When she seeks your time and help, why you shut your doors at her by saying you have friends, you have family, you have work? WHY?
When you can make time for your parents, then why can’t you make time for your wives!
When you care so much about the respect of your parents, why you don’t care if your wife is disrespected?
When you care about your parents’ tears and pain! Then why doesn’t it matter to you when you see your wife struggling with pain and sorrow!
When your parents can share their pain and sorrow with you, then why can’t your wife? Why do you tell your wife to stop complaining or manipulating you, whenever she opens up about her struggle? Why your issues and your parents’ issues are real but not your wives?
The way you show patience to your parents’ concerns, you need to show it to your wife too! The way you make compromises and adjustments for your parents’ happiness, so should you for your wife! Because your wife is your family too! Stop treating her like an outsider! Why label her as a manipulator when she gathers the courage to speak up about the issues bothering her!
Marriage is one of the most beautiful relationship, if its foundation is based on equality, trust and happiness. With changing times, the marriage is changing too! Women are no more okay to be ignored or treated less in their marriage. They demand to be treated as an equal partner in marriage.
So dear Men, if you can’t treat your wives as equal partners, here is a suggestion – please don’t marry! If you can’t make adjustments and compromises for her – please don’t make her leave everything for you! If you can’t give the love and respect that she deserves – then you don’t deserve to be married! Period!