Why do you treat your women so unfairly? Why you have different rules for men and women? Why do you keep portraying yourself as fair and equal when in reality you are not? Even though you make us believe that you treat us fairly, then why every step in our lives you make us feel inferior?
Have you ever wondered, why there are so many young, educated, and independent women are raising their voices against the Indian marriages? A quick hint – Because marriage as an institution stems out of your patriarchal mindset.
The inequality in marriage as an institution is something that has made many women disappointed and heartbroken. Recently, one of my friends was bashed by her relatives and friends as she raised her desire to stay away from her intruding in-laws.
She was labeled as the selfish, self-centered, family destroyer and cruel for even considering the decision to take away the son from his parents. She was left heartbroken when her own parents explained to her the reasons why her demands were a sign of the selfish modern woman. And how she will be left alone if she doesn’t change or learn to adjust.
I won’t be surprised when some of those reading the post, would also label her as selfish or cruel. Some of those without even knowing anything about her and her life, would jump to the conclusion that she shouldn’t have got married in the first place. Some would even ask her how would she feel if her parents would be left alone in their old age.
But, it would take only a progressive mind to ask:
Why label her as cruel or selfish, when our society did the exact same thing to her in the name of tradition?
Why we, as a society, celebrated when she left her parents to live with her husband? Why did no one call her husband selfish or self-centered?
It is heartbreaking how even in the 21st century, our girls are considered as “Paraya Dhan”. Doesn’t matter how educated she is, she is still told to learn how to adjust, adapt, and compromise as she has to go to her in-laws’ house after marriage!
As a society, we tell parents of Indian daughters to start planning for their marriage from the time she is born. How often have we heard people saying: “Start saving for her marriage”, “Do not set her expectations too high”, “Make her learn how to do house-hold chores as she has to go ‘paraye ghar‘”, “Tell her that she has to learn how to compromise and adjust, otherwise life after marriage is going to be tough” and much more!
But if we treat our daughters as we treat our sons, then why our society doesn’t give any such advice to our son or their parents?
Why does a girl leaving her everything behind to move into her husband’s place seems completely fine? But not a girl expecting the same from her husband?
Why is it fine for a girl to leave her parents behind, but not for a man?
Why is it always the case that a girl has to change her sir name and not the boy?
Why is it always the woman who has to bear the pain of losing her parents and the house she was born and bought up to?
While you treat your women as so differently than men, all your talk about women’s empowerment sounds shallow and useless. What’s the point of raising strong and independent women, when you can’t stand by their demands for being treated equally? What’s the point of this charade of being a modern society, when your women still yearn for respect, dignity, and equality?
A humble request to our readers:
IFORHER’s Open letters series capture articles contributed by our community members’ with the objective to share their deepest feelings with the community. If you can relate to them, please don’t forget to drop a message for the writer.
And if you don’t please don’t judge them. We all go through different struggles in life. Just because we don’t have that struggle doesn’t mean their struggle isn’t real.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of IforHer. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, IforHer does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.