“Girls should learn how to take care of a family; how to make perfect rotis; how to cook meals for at least 7-8 people without any complaints!” “Girls need to learn how to adjust after marriage. She has to go to a new home and adjust with the future in-laws. They need to learn how to be patient and make adjustments. They need to learn how to please husbands and in-laws!” “Good daughters-in-law know how to please their in-laws and serve them well so that they remain happy!”
The process of grooming girls to be good daughters-in-law and wives starts at a very early stage. Girls are told to learn skills of cooking, serving, making adjustments and many more to make sure they turn into good daughters-in-law of the future.
While the goodness of a woman depends on how well she can serve her husband and in-laws, why the goodness of a man doesn’t depend on how well he serves his wife and in-laws?
Have you ever wondered why it’s only women, who have to live with and serve in-laws and not men? Have you ever wondered why the immense burden of pleasing the in-laws solely fall on women’s shoulders? In the times, when we talk about equality between men and women, why only women are held responsible for taking care of in-laws? Are men not equally responsible to take care of their parents and their in-laws?
Shouldn’t men be raised with similar expectations to adjust and serve their wives and in-laws? Shouldn’t men also learn the basic needs of survival like cooking or serving their elders? Why are we still holding on to our regressive patriarchal traditions, that deem women as the caretakers and men as the bread-earners? In times, when women are becoming financially independent, why do we overburden them to hold the expectations of serving others alone?
While women are expected to serve their husbands’ parents, but what about their own parents? While serving In-laws and husband is the basic duty of any married woman, we hail husbands who are negligent towards their in-laws.
More often than not, it has been seen that Indian husbands are negligent towards their in-laws. They tend to avoid any interactions with them. They even make excuses not to visit them! In many cases, the husbands’ parents, in fact, take pride as their sons refuse to give their in-laws equal love and respect as that of their own parents. But, what is so hypocritical about such parents is the fact that they want their daughters-in-law to treat them as their own parents!
If marriage is about the equal partnership between two people, then why just one partner is expected to leave her own parents and take care of the other partner’s parents! Shouldn’t it be an equal responsibility? Shouldn’t when one person takes care of one’s parents, make sure they have a good life, then shouldn’t the other person too!
When a woman can cook for in-laws, then why a man can’t? Why does a woman need to feel pride while serving her in-laws, but a man is shamed and blamed for being supportive of his in-laws?
Dear Society, It is sad how you force a woman to choose between her parents and her in-laws. It is sad how after marriage, only sons enjoy the luxury of staying with parents and taking care of their old parents. Why such an unfair treatment?
Don’t you think it is time to change the idea of marriage? Don’t you think it is time that we stop only asking our women to make sacrifices, compromises and adjustments for marriage? Shouldn’t we ask our men too? In times, when women are in an equal position in terms of abilities, salaries and social responsibilities, then why such discrimination?
Today daughters are no less than our sons. Then, why such discrimination? Why only sons are allowed to be responsible for taking care of their parents? Why not women too? Why daughters couldn’t take care of their parents after marriage just the way men do?
If you want people to believe in the institution of marriage, you need to treat men and women equally! You need to let the couple have a marriage, where they share equal responsibilities; where women take care of their parents and so do men; where the wife takes care of in-laws and so does the husband.