“Shweta, why are you like this? Why can’t you just stay quiet when my relatives say things that you don’t like? Why do you have to react and let them know that they are wrong! Why can’t you just ignore things for my sake? Why do you have to make my family uncomfortable and sad? Why can’t you let go of their words for me? As a husband, I haven’t asked anything from you except to ignore things that my family say or do! Why can’t you just do it for me?”
“Parag, are you asking me to suffer your family’s abuse just because we are married? You want me to listen to their hurtful words silently just because you want to be in their good books! How could you be so selfish? As a husband, you are responsible for my happiness. But, just to please your shallow ego, you want me to listen to the painful things without a word! Rather than taking a stand for your wife’s dignity and respect, isn’t it selfish of you to expect your wife to suffer!”
My husband banged the door and left in anger just because I refused to be his puppet, who suffers the family drama in silence. After the heated argument, the next couple of days were really tough. My husband refused to talk to me and started maintaining an uncomfortable distance.
But, I just couldn’t let him emotionally blackmail me into suffering the abuse.
This wasn’t just my story. It wasn’t just my husband, who wanted his wife to ignore the abuse. There are so many well-educated Indian men, who marry well-qualified independent women and then expect them to suffer their family’s abuse in silence. I wonder why are Indian men so spineless that they expect their life partner to suffer the family drama for their family’s shallow egos?
Just because they want to win the trophy of “The Best Son” so desperately, they expect their wives to ignore the abuse.
But, what is even sadder is the fact how many strong, independent and educated women choose to suffer the abuse in silence for the sake of their marriage.
Because, if the wives stand for their dignity against the husbands’ family, many Indian men shamelessly manipulate or emotionally blackmail them. They would stop talking to their wives or would become toxic or would start ignoring them just because they have chosen to take a stand against their abusive family members. And, left with no choice but to save their marriage, many women succumb to the pressure of their spineless husbands.
But, I refuse to. I refuse to succumb to the pressure of my husband’s unrealistic demands!
I refuse to sacrifice myself so that my husband could satisfy his shallow ego! I married for love, not for the abuse! Doesn’t matter who you are, if you can’t respect me, please don’t expect me to respect you either. It is a high time, our society understands that respect is a two-way street – you only get it when you give it!
I hope women would understand that till the time they will keep suffering the abuse, the abusers will never stop. The abusers will just get stronger with every moment of their silence. I hope that not only women should stop suffering the abuse, but also the spineless men should stop expecting them to suffer the family drama for their shallow egos!
Dear men, if you can’t stand for your wives’ dignity, self-respect and pride, then please stop getting married! Because, we, women deserve better!