“Sanjay, why don’t you tell your parents to stop insulting me or my family on every matter. They can’t keep shaming my parents for being middle class. They haven’t done anything wrong to them, then why do they keep insulting them in front of others?” “Ritu, I have told them so many times not to say things that are insulting. I have even told them in front of you to stop saying nasty things to you. But, they don’t listen!”
“Sanjay, mummy was telling her friends today how unlucky she is that you married to a woman who doesn’t even know how to take care of family! She was telling them how it wasn’t my fault but my parents’ as they forgot to give me the right sanskaars. She, in fact, said how everyone can get an education but there are very few who treasure their sanskaar!”“Ritu, I don’t know what you want me to say! I know what she said is utter nonsense. But, why do you pay so much attention to what she has to say! Why can’t you just let things go! You know I have tried so many times to make her understand. But, it’s not easy to change at this age! Why can’t you just ignore the non-sensical things!”
While my mother-in-law was driving me crazy with all the hurtful things, I was getting mad at my husband, who was trying really hard to make his mother change her erratic behaviour.
With every passing day, I became angrier and angrier and my husband became less and less patient! I reached at a point when I was about to give up on my marriage and my husband. With every hurtful and nagging comment by mother-in-law, I became more and more toxic towards my own husband.
To be honest with you, my husband did a lot to take a stand for me. From calling them out on their unfair behaviour, to fighting with them on their toxicity, he did everything. But, his parents refused to change their behaviour. And, rather than appreciating how my husband was trying to support me, I got mad and angry at him.
Because of my in-laws’ toxic nature, I started picking fights with my husband. Our fights became so frequent that we forgot how much love we had for each other.
And, after some time, we reached a point that both of us were about to give up on our marriage. I reached a point where I was not only losing my mental peace because of in-laws, but also my marriage was about to be shattered!
It took me almost a year to realize how foolish I was, for damaging my relationship with my husband because of my in-laws. From day one, my in-laws wanted my marriage to shatter; my relationship with my husband to be strained; And, sadly, I was too stupid to see how I was letting them be successful in ruining my marriage!
It was then I started working on my relationship with my husband. I realized that my husband understood how his parents were wrong. Being a kind person, he couldn’t leave them alone in their old age. And, I respected that. So, I started looking at the bright side of my marriage. I started appreciating how my husband loved me so much and how he wasn’t shy to take a stand for me. With time, my relationship with my husband improved and that hurt my in-laws the most. I realized that working on myself and my marriage was the best revenge against my in-law’s toxic behaviour.
As my husband and I are building a happier and stronger marriage, I just have one message to women struggling at the hands of toxic in-laws:
Dear Women, Don’t be a fool! Stop damaging your relationship with your husband because of in-laws! Because that’s exactly what your toxic in-laws want! Saving your marriage is the best revenge against toxic in-laws!