“My marriage has been ruined because of my in-laws. They are the real reason why I am struggling so much in my marriage. They not only treat me like an outsider but also don’t give me any respect and love that I deserve!”
“My in-laws should be blamed for all the sadness in my life. Their constant taunts, insults, control and blame are the reason why I don’t have a happy marriage that I dreamt of!”
These and many more reasons that I heard from my friends, sisters, and colleagues that have a long list of reasons why they blame their in-laws for their unhappy marriage. But, here I am taking a strong stand that I know might not be liked by many, but still, the truth needs to be told:
Dear Women, Don’t blame your in-laws; It’s your husband’s duty to care about your happiness, not theirs!
Dear Women, you married your husband, not in-laws.
It was your husband who promised you to keep you always happy; it was your husband who promised you to stand with you when things get tough. So, now when you are unhappy in your marriage – why you blame your in-laws and not your husband.
When the in-laws treated you like an outsider, why was your husband sitting quietly like a dummy? Why your husband, who promised to stand by you, didn’t take a stand for you? Why your husband keeps his parents happy started ignoring you? Why did your husband choose to gang up with his parents and left you to feel isolated?
You may be blaming your in-laws for the sadness that has crept into your marriage; you may be blaming them for the loneliness that has filled your marriage; you may be blaming them for making your husband ignore you; but here’s the ugly truth – it is your husband who left you lonely, ignored and sad. It’s your husband who never kept his promises to keep you happy!
It was your husband, who had promised you a happy life, a life where you would be loved and respected; a love where no one would be able to hurt you. But, sadly it was your husband’s lack of attention, ignorance, and lack of that hurt you the most; that left you all alone with your emotional trauma and stress!
Dear Men, Please stop complaining about your wife how she has a problem with your parents; It’s neither your parents nor her who is at fault. It’s you!
You failed her when you chose to stay silent when she was disrespected in front of you; You failed her when you left her alone when she was struggling to be treated as part of your family!
She left her whole family to be part of yours. But, you let her struggle all alone; You were her defense, her shield but you refused to save her! Every relationship that was making her life difficult was related to her through you. Even then you didn’t take a stand for her; You didn’t raise a voice for her!
When your parents asked you to ignore your wife, shouldn’t you have asked why? Why should you ignore her when she is here for you!
When your parents blamed your wife for taking everyone’s place, why you didn’t tell your parents that she wasn’t taking anyone’s place, she is just taking her place!
When your parents said she is too opinionated and doesn’t know how to live with your parents, why you didn’t ask your parents and sister to go easy on her; to respect her for being a strong and independent woman!
When they said she is trying to create differences between sons and his parents, why you didn’t take a stand for her and demanded her to be treated as a family and not as an outsider!
It’s easy to blame parents or in-laws but as a couple, we need to take responsibility for our own happiness. It isn’t okay to blame others for our unhappy marriage. Because, in the end, husband and wife promised each other to fill each other life with happiness and love, no one else did – neither our parents nor our in-laws!
