Like many girls, I wanted my marriage to be a happy love story. But who would have thought that it would leave me bitter, angry, hopeless, empty, reactive, and much more. Even though I was blamed, cursed, or insulted for being too emotional, the reality was that I married a man, who was a mama’s boy. While I struggled in the marriage, there were many who were enjoying all the drama in my life and celebrating my life being shattered bit by bit.
It was then I decided to take charge. I connected with a counselor to understand how I can cope up with my situation and heal myself from the endless pain. After 3 months of sessions, I became more confident and assertive.
As I have embarked on the journey of healing myself, I want the world to know how marriage with mama’s boy breaks a woman.
How a woman, who left everything for marriage, is left alone to struggle? How the dreams of creating the best life with her husband are shattered? How people enjoy her struggle to please their shallow egos while she just keeps hoping that someone will save her? I hope my story will give many struggling wives the confidence to fight back and seek help to build a better life for themselves.
Before you read any further, here is a disclaimer: We, women, don’t have issues with our husbands loving their mothers unconditionally. Our issue is when they love ONLY their mother and feel guilty every time they feel love for their wives!
Here’s what women feel every moment of their married life when their husband turns out to be a mama’s boy:
1. You feel like you are the “OTHER WOMAN”
Yes, you feel like the other woman. Your husband feels guilty about spending alone time with you. When he spends time with you, he feels guilty for ignoring his responsibilities as a son. As a wife, you are being reminded multiple times that your husband doesn’t belong to you. He has many other responsibilities and you come last on his priority list.
While you struggle to adjust in your new life, your husband gangs up with his mother to make fun of you; While you strive hard to win his heart, he makes no effort to make you feel loved; every time he spends time with you, he tries to guilt-trip himself because he is breaking the norm of spending time with her mother! Every time when you and your husband come back from some time alone, how your husband and his mother exchange glances making you feel like the other woman.
2. Time With Your Husband Comes With Drama
If you are married to mama’s boy, you have to fight for your time with your husband! You have to make yourself used to the feeling of being ignored by your husband! You have to calm yourself down when your husband has time for his siblings, his friends, and his mother but not for you!
You have to hear the constant taunts like “sons forget after marriage”, “now bhaiya doesn’t have time for us”, “someone else’s son can leave everyone but not his mother,”! You have to act okay when your constant plans of spending time with your husband are ruined by last-minute urgency declared by your husband’s family!
You keep suffering from so much drama in a hope of creating a loving bond with your husband! You sacrifice your emotional health and mental health to make the marriage work. But in the end, after giving so much, you land up feeling empty, low, hyper, angry, sad, and disappointed.
3. You Are Accused & Made To Feel GUILTY For Coming Into His life
You are blamed for taking him away from his parents! You are told multiple times how his parents have done so much for him! You are reminded how everything in his life is dedicated to his parents! You are told multiple times that no one can take place of his mother in his life! You are told that you are never going to be more important than his mother!
In the end, you are accused of making his life difficult; You are made to feel guilty if you ever try to stand for your rights as a wife! You are cursed, you are blamed and you are insulted.
4. Your Husband Doesn’t Shy Away From Ignoring You To Satisfy His Mom’s Ego
This is one of the most heart-breaking things that you go through as a wife of mama’s boy. You are ignored just to please people’s shallow ego! Your husband avoids you just to prove a point that he is still a responsible son! Your husband cancels all your important plans in a minute to fulfill the whims and fancies of his mom!
Your emotional needs are ignored so that your husband could be labeled as a great son! And if you confront your husband for ignoring your needs, you are told how needy and demanding you are! How jealous you are of his mother!
Being the wife of a mama’s boy is very very draining. It affects you mentally, physically, and emotionally. While you struggle alone, you assume that your husband will come for your rescue. But sadly the truth is – you will be drowning in the tsunami of emotions, while your husband would be enjoying his life with his mother! If you are stuck with mama’s boy, I feel sorry for you. I know how much pain you are in! I just have a request – Please don’t keep struggling, seek help! Because it never gets better with time. It just gets worse!