Me: Does a daughter has an equal right to take care of her parents?
Me: But, why?
In case you agree with what society has to say, then you will not find my story worth your time. So, you better skip my story and save some of your precious time.
But, if you are one of those logical and open-minded humans, who believe that nature made men and women equally. But, it is the society that prefers one over the other, then my story might find a little space in your heart.
I am the only daughter of my parents. You can say I won a lottery when I was born to the most loving parents. They never made me feel any lesser than others.
I remember when a boy eve teased me while coming back from school, I came back crying. My mother made sure that I go back and avenge myself. And, I did it with a hockey stick.
While people used to call me my parents “Beta”, my parents always corrected them that I was their “Beti” (as they never felt Beti was any less or more than Beta)
Born to a rebel family, I knew I was not here to follow the societal norms.
But I felt heartbroken when I made a mistake in making one of the most important decision of my life – marriage.
Being very clear upfront that I have to take care of my parent’s post marriage, I told each and every boy who showed the intent to marry me. After my upfront revelation, many boys never spoke to me again. And, I was absolutely fine with it.
But, then I met someone who made me believe that our society is changing. He made me believe that it was normal for me to take care of my parents as they have left no stone un-turned in making me whom I am. And, we got married.
But, sadly things don’t turn out the way we imagine.
After 2 years of my marriage, I lost my father to a heart attack. It was really tough for my mother to handle everything alone. In spite of my mother’s modern thought process, she wasn’t comfortable staying with me as she felt society would make life difficult for me and for her.
Hence, without letting me know, she started looking for old-age homes. And, one day when I found a brochure, I got so infuriated that I called my husband and informed him that my mother was going to stay with us.
Assuming he would be fine with the decision, I made my mother travel back with me. Hardly, I knew what was stored for me in the future.
If you feel this was my happy ending then you need to spend 2 more minutes to know what happened to my so-called happy ending.
It took only 6 months to turn my perfect marriage into a nightmarish marriage.
Next 6 months swept away all the love and respect that I had for my husband or for my marriage. Sadly, it was okay for my husband to ask me and my mother to turn in all our savings and salary as he was expected to take care of us.
I retaliated to the idea of my mother turning in all her savings, as it was my duty and not my mother’s helplessness that she was staying with me.
His parents expected me and my mother to feel obliged that their son was so gracious that he allowed my mother to stay with me under his roof – something which, according to them, even the biggest fool on earth wouldn’t have allowed.
And then started 2 most difficult months of my life.
When my mother saw me being hit, punched and slapped. Her strong daughter was being thrashed every second day because of her. And, then one day, I realized that it was over and things will never get better.
So, the next day, I took my mother and all my financial assets along with me to leave him behind. My husband got remarried within 6 months of completing a mutual divorce.
My broken marriage is the result of strength. So, society might see my broken marriage as a mark of insult, but I carry it as a badge of honor.
Because I refuse to leave my mother at the mercy of old age home.
Because I refuse to accept that after marriage its a new life for me.
And, Because I refuse to become a wife by killing the daughter in me.
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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of I for Her. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, I for Her does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.