In a country where marriage is often considered sacred and even quintessential for a woman, it is not surprising why our society perceives divorce as a sign of failure. But this inspiring story shows why we need to stop seeing divorce as a sign of failure, rather see it as a sign of courage and hope.
Even though we are living in the 21st century, still many segments of our society expect a couple to stay together in a loveless marriage even without happiness. Our society hates the tag of divorcee so much that many times, it suggests its sons and daughters to keep suffering in the marriage – because, log kya kahengey?
But things are changing. Many progressive minds are realizing that it doesn’t make sense to lead a miserable life only because of the unfair pressure of society’s unrealistic expectations. These progressive souls are also not shying away from breaking the age-old stereotype of a divorcee being sad and helpless.
One such brave soul shared her inspiring story with HoB. She talked about building herself a new life after moving out of a-20-years of marriage. While sharing her hope-filled story, she mentioned:
“I met my husband when I was 20.
We fell in love, and by the time I turned 23, I was married. We were the ‘it couple.’ We had a good 20 years together, but things started to change and we grew apart–that happens sometimes.
At the age of 47, we got a divorce and went our separate ways.
Both my kids were abroad, so I started my life anew. I was lost… I didn’t know where to begin, I had never signed a cheque in my life, let alone live by myself. But I was eager to figure it all out by myself.
Things started falling into place organically– my friend called me about an opening for a French teacher at her school and just like that, after a brief interview I had a job! Every day I’d travel from Bombay Central to Chembur by bus to go to school. Then I’d take tuitions, go to the gym and sleep late.
I had a fire within me to live, I didn’t know how to put it out — I didn’t want to try.
I had a new dream…I wanted to own my own house. I had my eye set on this beautiful apartment with a great view. The view of the skyline, showing me the sunrise each morning was everything I wanted. With my savings, alimony, and a loan from my sister, I saved up for the apartment.
And that’s how I got my own home!
Even though there was no furniture, it was in shambles, and I had to rebuild, I was ready to do the work. I got second-hand furniture, and bought a mattress to sleep on the floor. Bit by bit, I bought things for the house and soon, it became a home.
Around 4 years later, one of my close friends told me that she didn’t like to see me live alone. So she signed me up on a homestay service. I didn’t even know how to use a computer, let alone use this platform.
But I was ready to try new things– so I thought ‘why not?’
I began hosting people from all over the world! I’d go collect them from the airport, cook for them, make sure they’re well taken care of!
And I guess my home was magic, because each and every person who left, left happy. A man we hosted is even inviting us for his wedding in Delhi! It’s amazing how life can keep surprising you.
Through this, I also became financially independent.
The happiest moment by far was when I saved enough money to book a vacation for me and my daughter to South America! I felt free, emotionally, financially, mentally.
Since then, I plan one trip with her every year…it’s like the world has opened all doors for me. But let me tell you a secret- no view in the world is better than the one from my window — it reminds me of what I built on my own.
And then I know, that life always gives you second chances and miracles happen when you least expect them.”
At IFORHER, we feel it is important for our society to stop judging divorced people and start celebrating them for gathering the courage to lead a happy life on their own terms. We believe this woman’s inspiring story about how she rebuilt her life and her plans are for the future, will inspire many who are looking for a second chance.