“Why you couldn’t take a stand for me in front of your parents when they complained about my job and long working hours? Why were you shut when they suggested that I should give up on my work? And, when I answered back that my career is as important as yousrs, why did you told me to remain quiet?”
I asked my husband as I was disturbed after what happened at our dinner table. But, rather than apologizing what my husband said next left me heartbroken. He said:
“Why do you keep complaining? It looks like you don’t have any other work other than complaining about my parents or me! I am tired of your nagging behavior. Your attitude drives me crazy.”
My husband shouted on top of his voice, slammed the bedroom door, and went out.
I was heartbroken to hear how my husband easily blamed me and my attitude. He labeled me as a nagging wife just because I spoke up.
Honestly, after this argument, I did a lot of introspection. Sadly, maybe I am turning into a nagging wife, maybe I do complain a lot. This argument made me wonder how an optimistic, life-loving girl turned into this nagging wife, who was extremely unhappy. And, in those moments, I realized that it was my unmet expectations from the marriage that turned me into an unhappy person.
There are so many men, who blame their wives for complaining too much but they would hardly try to understand why they are complaining? They will bitch about their wives to their friends and label them as a nagging monster, who keeps finding flaws in them or their parents or their marriage.
Dear Indian Husbands, Women Are Not Born As Complaining Wife
The root cause behind any nagging wife is her broken heart and a series of unmet expectations. It is heartbreaking how many times, women who were supposed to spread their wings and fly high are supposed to give up on their dreams in the name of a better marriage. While they make compromises and adjustments for others in the name of sanskars and values, they find no one making changes for them.
The women, who were raised to live life on their terms, find themselves living their lives dictated by others. When they find a man, who promised to support her in what may come, hardly stand for her dreams. She is left heartbroken. She feels all alone in the marriage trying to make things right for her. While the man wants the wife to fit into this perfect ideal wife and bahu, he hardly tries to become an ideal life partner.
Many strong and independent women who wanted equal marriage, find themselves victims of the patriarchal mindset. While their husband wanted educated working women, they hardly up for the task of sharing the load in the marriage. No wonder why we find so many women overly stressed and burdened with household chores. Wrapped under her series of complaints is her cry for help that many men refused to listen to.
So, dear men, the next time you blame your wife for complaining too much, please give yourself a hard look into the mirror. Please ask yourself how you abandoned her and her dreams after getting married. While she sacrificed everything for you and your family, how you took her for granted. And, please remember:
Nagging wives are not born; They are made by bad marriages!