In 21st century, many educated Indian girls are performing either at par or in some cases, even better than the boys in various fields of work. It is heart-breaking how our society still fails them at many steps of their lives, especially once they are married.
While many of us may have a false impression of how our society treats an educated woman fairly, the struggle of many educated wives reflects the ugly truth.
Our modern Indian men want to marry an educated and independent woman. But it is heart-wrenching, how they still expect them to accept the unfair and ill-treatment after marriage and suffer in silence.
Like many educated and independent women, my sister and a couple of friends’ struggle makes me wonder why their husbands, who once wanted a strong and independent woman, now want them to be submissive to our patriarchal society.
Why a strong and independent woman has to pay the price of being rational after marriage? Why the man who once wanted to marry an educated and independent woman, starts having an issue with her being strong-minded and independent.
Is it because our Indian men are never raised to accept strong and independent women? Or is it because they want someone who is strong and independent just outside the home. When it comes to being at home, they just want to be with someone who blindly follows the regressive social norms attached to being a good daughter-in-law and a wife.
Now before you read any further, here’s the much-needed disclaimer. The views mentioned in this post are based on my own experiences or of people close to me – my friends and my sister. If you have been blessed with a supportive husband, who respects you for who you are, then you may not relate to what you are about to read. And, I am extremely happy for you. But please remember that everyone isn’t as fortunate as you are.
Does it bother you why Indian men want to marry brides, who are educated, strong, and independent if they don’t like their independence and courage? If yes, then I am sure you must be able to relate some of the below-mentioned points that call out the hypocrisy of modern Indian men and their marriages.
Be Educated, But Be Mindless
It baffles me to understand while Indian men want educated wives, they don’t want them to question their parent’s orthodox thinking! They want their educated wives to become mindless and start following their parents’ regressive orders blindly.
Be Independent But Not So Independent
Though Indian men want to marry someone who is independent but then why they have an issue if their wives stand for themselves and for their dignity? Isn’t this hypocritical?
Be Financially Independent, But Don’t Take Money Decisions
Indian men want to marry someone who is financially independent. But they don’t want their educated and independent women to make money decisions on their own. So the wives should earn money but when it comes to spending money, the Indian men still want to be in charge.
Be Modern, But Still Believe In Regressive Thought Process
Though Indian Men want to marry someone who is modern; after marriage they want them to believe in many orthodox thought-processes. One of them being accepting that only their new family is their responsibility now. They have to stop thinking about their parents as they are married now.
Be Career-Oriented, But Priority Should Be Family & Kids
Before marriage the woman we loved so much for being career-oriented. But after marriage, she needs to reset her priorities. We want them to be career-oriented but not so much that they start focusing on the career more than family and kids. Because Indian men still believe that the first priority of women should be always family and kids.
Be Educated, But Don’t Believe That We Are Equal
This is my favorite. Even if women are equally educated as that of the husbands, men want them to remember that at home who is the boss? They need to take up all the responsibilities of household chores from cooking to laundry to sweeping. They may be educated and they might believe that men and women are equal, but when they come home, we want them to remember the traditional gender roles.
The Bottom Line:
Isn’t it unfair to expect educated and independent women to compromise after marriage? All this just because men don’t know how to accept independent women as life partners.
Why should women pay the price for the hypocrisy of Indian men?
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of I for Her. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, IforHer does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.