“Men will be men” has been a consistent statement used by our society to justify the unfair, disgusting and sexist actions of men – Be it about cracking sexist jokes or their toxic behaviour or their dependence on a woman for basic life skills like cooking, cleaning etc.
As far as history goes, men have always taken women for granted. From their unrealistic dowry demands to emotional and physical abuse to their tendency to control women, women have bared it all. Because she was told – Men will be Men! But, now times are changing. Women are no longer ready to accept the excuse of “Men will be men!”. It is quite amazing how women from different parts of the country are coming together to support each other and overthrow the deeply-rooted patriarchy in Indian society.
The sad state of women in India is majorly contributed to one reason – the way men are being raised in our country. It is heart-breaking how they are nurtured with a sense of entitlement and superiority. After being pampered throughout their childhood, men feel it is okay to throw tantrums on their wives too. Because of overly loving and pampering mothers, they feel women are born to serve them!
The day Indian parents start raising their children equally – without thinking about their genders, the sense of gender superiority that men carry will fade away. The way how we tell our daughters to learn how to cook, how to make adjustments; how to adapt, we should tell our sons too! And, parents should stop covering their sons’ unruly behaviour by saying Boys will be boys!
Marriage for women is an institution where she actually adopts a grown-up man, who doesn’t know how to take care of himself. No one can deny that patriarchy has spoiled men. When you look around, all you will see is patriarchy.
After marriage, many women have no other choice but to wonder whether they have married a man or a man-child? Indian men are dependent on their wives for everything from food to clothes to housekeeping to family care and so much more! Doesn’t matter whether women are working or not, they have to bear the burden of household chores and family care because our men refuse to step up! Firstly, they don’t know how to do it and secondly, they don’t even want to learn. Because of prevalent patriarchy, they lack the will to support their wives in household chores. Since their childhood, they have seen these tasks being performed by their mother alone! And, hence that’s the expectation that they have it from their wives too!
It is quite disgusting how majority of Indian men do not know how to cook and tidy the mess they create. It’s very rare that a man will know how to cook and do the chores, simply because most of the men are not taught to carry out these activities like girls are. And, those who know are either shamed or labelled as Joru ka Ghulam!
It is sad how even in the 21st century, many women are still told, “The way to a husband’s heart goes through his stomach”. Seriously?
It is sad how Indian husbands want their wives to be more like their mothers. They want them to pamper them; handle their tantrums; be there to serve them 24X7. They don’t want wives or partners, they want nannies to take care of them!
The feeling of male superiority is ingrained in Indian men right from the very beginning. This makes it so difficult for them to accept strong and independent women as their equal partners. To prove their unnecessary machismo, they tend to control these strong and independent women and in this process, they don’t care if they cross the lines of abuse too!
Dear Indian men, we do understand you are told that boys don’t cry or show emotions. We understand that because of your upbringing it is difficult to open up about your feelings. But, how fair it is that you turn your emotions and stress into pointless aggression.
Gone are the days when women used to adjust in toxic marriages! Gone are the days when women were helpless without any choices! Gone are the days when out of fear of what society would say, brides parents would tell her to compromise! Today’s women are different. They are smart, intelligent and confident. So, if Indian men don’t step up now, women will live happily ever after with their careers and independence.
