In times when women are shattering social norms like a pro, it is heartbreaking how some men still believe that giving permission to their wives for pursuing their dreams is progressive. They feel that if they give their wives permission, they are a good husband.
But what today’s women want is not permission to live life on our terms, but support.
This heartbreaking reality was beautifully captured by a particular scene in the movie Dil Dhadakne Do, where Manav (Rahul Bose), a self-centered husband of Aisha (Priyanka Chopra) makes a couple of regressive statements without realizing how he was being sexist and not progressive.
In this powerful scene, Manav says how he and his family are so progressive as they have given permission to Aisha to run her own venture. To which Sunny (Farhan Akhar) points out very clearly that Ayesha doesn’t need his permission to live her life as per her own terms.
This is not just a scene in a movie.
This is a reality for so many married women who are still struggling to turn their dreams into reality. It is heartbreaking how our patriarchal society makes many men believe that women need their permission to live their dreams.
Now, it is heartbreaking how permission and support switch between each other based on gender. While a woman or wife supports her husband’s dreams, a man gives permission to his wife to pursue her dreams.
We wonder if it has ever occurred to these men, as to why women need their permission!
It is Indian men’s hypocrisy on how they expect women to support them in their dreams but when it comes to their wife’s dream, they focus on giving permission rather than support.
This all stems from the gender inequality embedded in our society’s DNA. A husband cooking food for the family is a good husband, but a wife cooking for her husband is well, a wife! A father taking care of his newborn is a good father while a mother doing the same is just a mother! A daughter in law taking care of her in-laws is being a daughter in law, whereas a husband taking care of his in-laws is a hero!
So Dear Men,
Stop fooling yourself with the labels of progressive men or good husbands or modern men, if you still believe women need your permission to turn their dreams into reality. It is important that you understand that 21st-century women don’t need your permission. But, rather we need your support. So, please spend some time to update your vocabulary!