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Home Relationships Marriage & Love

Is Being A Wife, The Only Goal For A Woman, Why Are Men Not Expected To Be Just Husbands?

by Guest Contributor
August 6, 2021

“Ritu, what kind of wife you are? Your husband is hungry and rather than making dinner for him, you are busy with your laptop! You don’t care about your husband at all!”

“Wife needs to stay where the husband does! If Rahul is moving to Bangalore so should you. Leave your job and find another one there!”

“Ritu, don’t go on your office trip! How will Rahul manage without you?”

“Today’s girls hardly know what it means to be a wife! They are so selfish and self-centered that the only thing they can think of is themselves! What a shame!”

From making me refuse a job offer that paid me more than my husband to asking me to relocate with him for the sake of his career, I have been reminded of the duties of a wife multiple times!

Woman-Stop-Sacrificing-Yourself-Others

I have been blamed multiple times, by not only my mother-in-law but also my own mother – for not being a good wife! I have been shamed for living life on my own terms. I have been told that wives compromise and sacrifice endlessly for the sake of their husband’s happiness! I have been told that my husband should always be my priority! I have been told that my happiness, my goals, my dreams don’t matter as much as my husband’s!

 My desire to be treated equally, my desire to be respected equally, my desire to be seen as an equal earned me many labels – Unsanskaari, Besharam, Rebel, Ungrateful etc.!

Just because, my husband is a man, society expects me to put him on pedestal and place myself in his feet!

Women are being judged only on what kind of wife or daughter in law they are. Then, why men are not being judged on what kind of a husband and a son-in-law he is?

Why being a good wife or a good daughter-in-law is the only thing that matters for a woman? Is being a good wife or good daughter-in-law the only goal for a woman?  

While it is absolutely fine for a man to take care of his parents, and if a woman calls her mother twice a day, it becomes a matter of concern? Shouldn’t she be taking care of her parents too? While it is fine for man to prioritise work over family, if a woman does the same she is selfish, self-centered and careless?

Isn’t there a lot of inequality in our marriages? Isn’t that a leading issue in the marriage? While women want to be treated equally, our men don’t know how to! We are the generation of women who refuse to walk on the same path as that of our mothers, who sacrificed their happiness and dreams for their kids and husband. We refuse to hear the voices of society yelling at us to be lesser than men!

As we are gearing for flying high, we want to let the world know that women are not born just to be wives! We are born to be so much more! And we will live our lives on our terms!

Tags: Open Letters To Society
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