“Mummy, Karan’s mother treated me so badly yesterday. She generally keeps nagging me for not being a good cook; for not being able to take care of the family; for being too busy with my work. Mummy, I am really working hard at the office as well as at home! But, Karan’s parents don’t understand. They want me to get up at 5 in the morning to cook food for the whole family. I told them we can have a cook so that neither Karan’s mom has to work hard nor I.
You know what Karan’s mother did! She yelled at me and called me useless. She said just because I earn that doesn’t mean household responsibilities are less important. She told Karan that I was trying to shame her for being a housewife.
She started shouting that I don’t understand the responsibility of being a wife and a daughter-in-law. She said I was too pampered in my house and that it’s your and papa’s fault that I don’t know how to manage home and work. She said that I was trying to show them the power of my money! She got so agitated that she said “why only cook, get a new mother for Karan too!”
And, while she was shouting at me, Karan and his father stood silently and watched her creating whole drama. But, do you know what she told Karan, she said – she was never in favour of Karan getting married to me because a modern girl like me can never understand the value of family!
His mother further said – “Right now she is getting a cook and later she will ask for nannies to raise kids! She doesn’t want to do anything. She is just lazy. She just knows how to get ready and go to the office and do nothing for the family!”
While my daughter was pouring her heart out, I was wondering nothing has changed in our society. Women still don’t support women to become financially independent; they don’t lend a helping hand to other women. And, while in-laws harass wife, the husband stands silently in the corner of the room, hoping that the wife embraces his mother’s venomous words, without saying a word in return.
This isn’t just my daughter’s story; 30 years back, it was my story too.
The only difference is I was lesser educated than my husband and I wasn’t earning as much as my husband. But, my daughter has an MBA degree same as that of her husband and she earns equal to him! Even after being equally educated and earning equal income, my daughter couldn’t have the equal status as that of her husband in the family!
While our educated and financially independent daughters are being burdened, shamed and insulted for not being able to handle household chores, I wonder why in-laws are not insulting their sons too for not being able to handle household chores.
It is so sad how some people turn into monsters and treat their daughters-in-law worse than animals. These people, who enjoy giving pain to others’ daughters; these people who enjoy creating drama; these people who mentally harass others’ daughters; would realize our pain when their sons are treated the same way! They will realize how a child’s pain breaks parents’ hearts and souls!
It breaks my heart how we, parents strive hard to raise our daughters equal to men. Since their childhood, we leave no stone unturned in making them strong and independent. But, rather than counting their blessings, our daughters’-in-law leave no chance to shatter their confidence; to break them emotionally!
Dear daughters’-in-laws, stop hurting our daughters. If you can’t respect them; love them; take care of them; they don’t get your sons married! Let our daughters stay with their parents. Because my daughter’s marriage is important but not more important than our daughter’s self-respect, dignity and happiness!