Dear Husband,
You always told me that love is a very complex phenomenon. It is difficult to explain; it is difficult to understand. But, I don’t agree. Love is a very simple phenomenon.
Love is nothing more than standing next to the person, you love, whatever may come.
Love is being there in health and sickness for the person you love!
Love is standing for his dignity whenever the world tries to suppress him!
Love is building his confidence and self-respect when the world attempts to shatter it down!
That’s what I did. For the last 6 years of our marriage, day-in, day out. I stood by you whenever you had a problem – be it health issues or problems at work or an emergency at home. Without even you saying a word, I was there for you.
Because, when you love someone, you don’t make that person beg for help!
Unlike others, who were there with you in your happy times, I was there for you when you felt low; I was there for you when you felt lonely! After our fights, there were multiple times when I let go of my self-respect and made peace just because I knew you were in pain. And in return, I never expected anything except love.
There were times when you ask me to ignore things. The hurtful actions of people close to you; the hurtful words of people close to you; And, I did it. Because, when you are in love, you do things for each other. But, what if the pressure of all the adjustments, all the compromises, and all the expectations fall on one individual.
Then it is not Love; it’s manipulation!
I never asked you for any expensive vacations or luxury items; I just asked for Love in return of Love; Respect in return for Respect!
I never made you ask me to stand for you, for your respect; I never let anyone come in between us; I stood like a rock whenever you were undergoing any issue; I did all this without making you ask for it; then why every time, you want me to tell you to stand for me; to be with me when the world tries to shatter me down; when people stomp over my self-respect.
Why did you find my simple expectation of standing for me too heavy to bear? Isn’t it an obvious thing to do for the person who has to give you her 100% commitment?
While you enjoyed being my top priority, you never ever thought of treating me as yours. You can’t even imagine how shallow and cheated I feel as I write this letter! The reason being I gave you too much and you gave me too little!
After spending six years of treating you as the center of my life, I have woken up to this ugly reality that my respect, my dignity means nothing to you! That I will keep giving in this relationship and you will keep taking it away! That I will never be your priority.
The reality is Dear Husband, you never deserved me! You never deserve the love and commitment that I bring to our relationship!
As I am awakening to this reality, I am not bitter. I gave our relationship because it gave me happiness. But not anymore. I am going to build my life around myself. I am going to focus on my happiness; I am going to focus on my career; I am going to live for myself.
Because in the end, love is mutual! You can’t love someone who keeps manipulating you to do make you do things that you don’t want!
Your
Not so loving wife!
