Dear S,
Ever since you have come into my life, I have told you multiple times how blessed I am to have you as my partner. Though there are multiple reasons why I respect you, today through this letter, I want to share what makes me respect you the most.
We live in a patriarchal society, where many women struggle for respect post-marriage. Sadly, it’s not just them. But, even their parents hardly get any respect at their in-law’s place. However, there are few good men like you who, not only respect their wives but also treat their parents as their own.
It always left me heartbroken how our society expects women to treat their in-laws as their own parents, but it never expects men to do the same. But, how you stand for my parents and treat them like your own, makes me adore you so much!
It is sad how our society never leaves a chance to tell girls to maintain a distance from their own parents after marriage. But, you never agreed to that rudimentary thought-process. Rather you took every step to ensure I felt closer to my parents after marriage.
Being the eldest in the family, you always knew how I felt responsible for my parents. And, when during my first day after marriage, I was crying and missing my parents – the way you held my hand and asked me if I wanted to visit them – made me believe that I am not alone in this. You are with me too.
Sadly, I know many of my friends whose relationship with their parents changed a lot after their marriage. Their husbands dropped them to their parents’ homes for a few hours or some didn’t even bother to drop them. The girl’s parents had to come to take her. But thankfully, you are so much different from them.
It’s all because of you, my reality is so much different than my friends. I could meet my parents whenever I want, and not only when my responsibilities demand so.
It is heartbreaking how so many men struggle to understand that as their parents crave to spend time with them when they come home, girls’ parents feel the same. You make sure that whenever we come to our city during vacations, we take out equal time for both our families.
Every time you stay back with me at my parents’ home, there are some who raise their eyebrows. But, how you tend to ignore them always made me respect you more. In fact, how you keep telling everyone that we need to fight this patriarchal mindset is quite a fresh breath of air.
When we plan for any family trip, you always ensure that we all go as one big happy family. You involve my parents in everything so that they never feel like distant relatives, rather feel like a family. When you call my father ‘Papa’, I know that you mean it.
It is quite amazing that you made at attempt to make your parents understand how they are incomplete without their kid, so are my parents. The way you have responsibilities towards them, and no one should stop you from fulfilling them, the same way, I have responsibilities towards my parents and I shouldn’t be expected to abandon them.
Indian marriages are driven by a lot of rituals and customs. Every month we have some festivals or celebrations. And these rituals play a major role in maintaining a balance between the families. In society, where many still expect the girls’ parents to look after the needs of the boy’s family, you make sure that my parents don’t feel the brunt of this societal pressure when it comes to gifts and presents.
Whenever in the name of custom, people expect my parents to do anything that may cause them discomfort, you never let that happen. For you, it is always my parents’ comfort that comes first.
You have made it so clear to my parents that now I am your responsibility.
Be it my further education or other needs, it is quite heart-touching how you gave them the comfort of not getting bothered. In fact, how you told them that not just for me, even if they or my siblings need any help, you are always there for them. All this makes me realize, there are some good men still left. The one who stands along with the woman to fight against the patriarchal mindset of our society.
There are many girls, whose husbands don’t have any clue about what is happening with their wife’s parents. But, you have built such a strong relationship with my parents that there are some matters that they discuss with you even before they do it with me. It makes me quite happy how my parents count on you.
In a society where girls’ parents are treated hardly with any respect, you make sure that my parents get all the respect that you want your parents should get. You made them so comfortable that they can be their real self around you, without any fear of judgments.
And here we are today, in our fourth year of marriage, where I am writing this note to you to tell you how you make me so happy the way you have accepted the whole of me i.e me along with my parents. Thanks for showing the world that true love is not about grand gestures or expensive gifts but in the acceptance and respect of every bit of your life partner’s life.
Thanks for being You!
Yours Forever, The person who loves you the most. ❣️❣️
A humble request to our readers:
IFORHER’s Open letters series capture articles contributed by our community members’ with the objective to share their deepest feelings with the community. If you can relate to them, please don’t forget to drop a message for the writer.
And if you don’t please don’t judge them. We all go through different struggles in life. Just because we don’t have that struggle doesn’t mean their struggle isn’t real.
