I know marriage isn’t easy. Neither for you nor for me. But in the end, it is a beautiful relationship that we committed to; where we promised each other to be together in sickness and health.
But, recently I felt that though we are together, we are still not able to understand how to make this marriage really work. I know recent days have been really tough on you. There are so many changes that have hit you. There are so many expectations that you feel the burden. And, I do understand what you are going through because the situation is very much similar to mine.
Maybe as people say, marriage brings changes to a man’s world but for a woman, it changes her complete world.
While you complain about the expectations that I have from you as a husband, think about how I am struggling with not only expectations as a wife but also as a daughter-in-law and a sister-in-law.
When you complain about the smaller changes in the room like the early morning alarms that disturb you to the color of bedsheets, I want you to recognize that though you are struggling with these changes, your wife has left her house and family just to be with you.
Definitely, I am not saying that I have it tougher than you or you have lesser work to do to make this marriage work. But, what I am saying is that we both need to change and support each other during this change.
Sadly our society expects a woman to change overnight, while husbands get the leniency of being the way he has been throughout his life. It expects a woman to make changes and adjust to her new house, new family, and husband without any complaint.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no issues making changes, but I don’t want to be the only one making changes to make this marriage work.
Respect & Love For Your Wife Too
I understand you have respect and love for your parents. And, I don’t have any issue with it. But remember that I left my parents for you. So, don’t forget to show love and respect to your wife too. Because now even I am your family!
We Decide Our Own Life
While we both love and respect our parents and would be there when they need us, we need to create our own life as a couple. I won’t let my parents decide what kind of life we create ourselves, can you promise that you won’t let yours.
Let’s Achieve Our Dreams Together
While I support you to achieve your dreams and aspirations, can you promise me the same? Will you support me to not let give up on my dreams just because society would expect me to. Would you support my dreams even if your parents and my parents won’t?
Can We Sort Our Own Problems?
When we have problems, can we sort them between us? Rather than involving our parents, sisters, or friends.
Will You Treat My Parents Like Your Own?
While I take care of your parents, can you promise me to take care of mine? While I changed myself into a daughter-in-law, can you also transform yourself into a loving and caring son-in-law? Because, if your parents deserve love and respect and so does mine.
Can We Respect Each Other For Who We Are?
Stop comparing me with your mother and sister. I really love and respect them for who they are. But, I don’t want to be their copy. I want to be my own person. So next time when you feel like soup doesn’t taste like your mom’s, either help me with the recipe or just adapt your taste buds to your wife’s cooking skills.
Let’s Be A Team Of Equals
I would like you to be my equal partner. I know you have seen your mother doing many things single-handedly, but frankly neither I won’t be able to nor I would. Don’t expect me to pick up all the responsibilities of creating a loving family. I want you to share the load! I want to be treated equally. Like you have your career, I have mine. So, don’t assume that I would be the only one making sacrifices and compromises for our family. Like your work, my work is important too.
Lastly, but not least, can you promise me:
While I protect your dignity, will you protect mine?
While I stand with you against the world, will you stand with me?
While I will be with you doesn’t matter whatever it takes, will you be with me?
While I become your wife, will you become my husband?