“Hey, Sneha, you are going to your parents again? Why? It’s been just a month you visited them. Why again so soon?”
“Rahul, I miss them. You are lucky to be with your parents all the time. I can’t stay with my parents but I should be free to meet them when I want to. ”
—
“Sneha, you went alone shopping! You didn’t wait for me!”
“Rahul, you are always busy with your office work, friends, or with your parents. You hardly have time to take us shopping. And, whenever I asked you to go shopping on weekend, you told me that you either want to spend weekends with your parents or you have to take your parents to some relatives. So, I went alone.”
—
“Oh, now your career and colleagues are more important than me; than our family?”
“Rahul, when you prioritize your work over me then it’s fine. You expect me to understand, but if I do the same, you insult me! Why these double standards?”
—
“What! You are not coming to the family function? I can’t believe it!”
“Rahul, the things that I would hear there would be how I am not dressed as per the occasion; how I am not looking as pretty as some other random girl at the function; and how I am not a good daughter-in-law because I am focusing on my career! And if I will say anything to you, you would either ask me to ignore it or would last out at me for saying things against your parents!”
So, it’s better I go to the office and keep my mood and spirit high!
—
What’s going on Sneha? Feels like you are treating me as your last priority! Our marriage doesn’t seem to be of any importance to you!
Rahul, Really? When you treat me your last, you expect me to understand. You tell me to be mature! You tell me that I am over-reacting! You tell I am being too touchy! And, now look at you! You are fine treating me as the last of your priority but you still expect me to treat you like my top priority!
You ignore me for your family & friends!
You never stood for me and my dignity!
You continue to fight with me for others
You expect me to change, to break, to fit-in!
It breaks my heart how you still tend to treat me like an outsider and expect me to be yours fully! You never valued me!
When I told you to stand for me when your mother abused me; you said my expectations were too much!! Rather than acknowledging my expectation of you treating me as your priority, you kept calling my expectations baseless. You showed no empathy towards me.
With time, I realized I need to learn a better way to lead my life.
Dear Husband, while I was making you my whole world, you were treating me like I don’t even part of yours.
While you treat my expectations as baseless and useless, you want me to fulfill all your expectations! How is this fair? A person deserves to be your world only if he treats you as his own too! The bottom line is I can’t be the last person for you while you expect me to keep you as my first!