Parents are important. Doesn’t matter whether you are a daughter or a son – it is important to love your parents and respect them! But, it isn’t okay when you start being disrespectful, ignorant and dismissive of your partner’s feelings and emotions.
As a wife, I never had an issue with my husband loving his mother or being there for her when she needed him. I had an issue with my husband being JUST a son. He acted like a mama’s boy, who was dismissive of his wife’s feelings and emotions. I had an issue when he chose to be a silent dummy husband, who always prefers to be a son!
Whenever I tried to explain this to my husband, he would always blame me for being jealous of her mother. Rather than understanding what I was going through, he would blame me for making attempts to separate him from his mother!
But, this isn’t just my pain. There are so many women, who are struggling to make their husbands understand – Love for parents is important, but so is love for your wife! There are many men, who are still not aware of how being mama’s boys put their wives through the endless trauma and scar their marriage for life. So, here’s a short note for every man who felt it was okay to be a son at the expense of being a husband:
Dear Men, have you ever considered how would you react if your wife treats you the way you treat her? Have you ever wondered how would you feel if she puts you through the same toxic behaviour as you put her through?
How would you feel if she ignores you to be a daddy’s girl?
How would you feel if she focuses on her parents by ignoring your needs and your presence?
How would you feel if she asks you to change yourself so that her father could be pleased?
How would you feel if she makes an unfair comparison between you and her father all the time in front of him? How would you feel if she asks you to give up your individuality and be more like her father?
How would you feel if she prioritizes spending time with her father and gangs up against you?
How would you feel if she stands quietly when her father insults you and tells you to be a better son-in-law?
And, after suffering so much when you try to make her understand how her toxic behaviour is affecting you, she tells you – stop being jealous of my father! How would you feel?
Rather than feeling loved and respected, wouldn’t you feel – Lonely, Sad, Disappointed, Unhappy & Pathetic? Wouldn’t you curse every moment of your married life and regret the decision to get married to her?
Do you remember when you married, you wanted a wife and not a daddy’s girl? Similarly, she wanted a husband and not a mama’s boy!
Dear Men, please understand we are not against you being a son. Rather what we want you is to not give up on being a husband just because you are a son.
You can love your parents and your wife too! You could be a loving son and a caring husband too! Being a good husband doesn’t make you a bad son! You don’t need to put your wife through your toxic behaviour just to prove that you are a good son! You don’t need to ignore your wife or isolate her just to prove that you are a dedicated son!