No one could deny how our Indian society emphasizes too much on marriage. It has ingrained in the minds of people, that marriage is one of the most fundamental and essential parts of your existence. So much so, that there are people (mostly, women) who are made to throttle their dreams in pursuit of a ‘happy married life’. But who guarantees happiness?
Some time back, a Twitter user posted a powerful thread of tweets on how nothing’s worth giving up on dreams, not even marriage, especially not a loveless one. For the right reasons, his tweet went viral, and especially a lot of women came forward to thank him for his support for women.
While narrating the heart-wrenching story of his classmate, Usman Ghani mentioned how a brilliant, studious, hard-working, very confident woman had to throttle her dreams for a loveless marriage. She had to enter into this marriage because she thought – “my parents are too old and scared of me being single”.
As per the sources, in his initial tweets, he mentioned how an abusive marriage turned his smart and intelligent classmate’s life into a living hell.
“There was this girl in my school, back in 90’s. Brilliant, studious, hard working, very confident, a topper, a debater, a class prefect….We were class fellows. She was the kind of girl with whom boys talked after rehearsing. Despite mad competition between us, we were friends. I guess the proudest moments of my school and college life were whenever I scored better than her in exams. Couldn’t beat her in confidence. We both chose engineering after college and graduated. I chose to work in an industry and she chose to pursue Masters in engineering. We both chose engineering after college and graduated. I chose to work in an industry and she chose to pursue Masters in engineering. An arranged marriage in a well off family meant that she had to quit job & live as a house wife. This wasn’t all, guy was a college dropout. She resisted as much as she could. But after sometime, she agreed to everything saying, “my parents are too old& scared of me being single”. Parents, too old and too scared. That was the reason for this brilliant girl to give up all her dreams, her ego and her career. In no time after her wedding she realized that he was verbally and physically abusive and his family supported and encouraged all this. But she kept quiet in the face of all abuse because her parents were too old and too scared. Very recently she texted me that her husband had beaten her and given her talaaq twice and if after two times talaaq she could live with him. Shocked, I asked why would she live with a man so abusive and so insulting. Her reply was, “My parents are too old…. sick and scared.”
After sharing the story, he shared a really powerful message for all the women that we feel captures the best life lesson:
Girls! Your parents love you. But one day, they will be old, sick and scared. DO NOT QUIT YOUR CAREER FOR MARRIAGE.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Earn you own money.
It does not matter if you’re thirty or thirty five, do not marry, I say DO NOT MARRY a man you feel is unsuitable for you.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Parents! One day, you will be old, sick and scared. Please raise your daughters as persons and not as commodity. Let them work and earn.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Teach your girls to live on their own and never depend on a man for their survival. Do not force them to marry if there is no compatibility.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Parents! Don’t panic if your girl is in 30’s & single. Let her pursue her dreams. Don’t blackmail your girl for marriage. This isn’t love.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Girls! Do not be blackmailed in the name of family, honor or parents. You are the ones who have to live with the man, YOU decide.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Parents! Teach your sons to respect women. Teach them that they’re marrying a human being and they’re equals. Let your daughter-in-law work.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Girls! It’s great to have a loving and caring life partner. But if love and care is not there, walk away. Have means and money to walk away.
— UG (@UGpk) February 15, 2017
Many men and women came forward to applaud his great inspiring message:
you’ll be a great parent someday. Thank you for the support to us women 🙂
— MissTravellingOut (@ShrutiLathi) February 17, 2017
Pleasantly surprised by this account coming from a man amongst us. Rare. Respect!
— Noreen Zehra (@NZehra_) February 17, 2017
Symbolizing the true spirit of IFORHER, we are in awe of Usman’s powerful message and hope many more seek inspiration from his tweets. We wish many more men would come forward to support women in turning their dreams into reality!
