Since our childhood, our movies feed us with the wrong idea about love and marriage. Our Bollywood movies don’t shy away from making us believe that love is what makes successful marriages; love is the core of all romantic relationships. But, is it really? Does love stay forever?
No one would deny how our movies make us believe that marriage is nothing less than a lifetime of butterflies in your stomach. With undeniable attraction, constant excitement, and endless love, we are made to believe that marriage is truly a perfect ending with the caption – “And, they lived happily ever after!”
Now, after struggling for 3 years in love marriage, one thing that I can tell you about marriage is that it isn’t about love and romance; rather it is about true companionship!
It is easy to fall in love with someone whom you met when he/she was meticulously dressed, smelled perfect, looked perfect; said the perfect things! When everything was just perfect! Love is perfect but marriage isn’t!
But before you read it any further, here is a much-needed disclaimer: These views are purely based on my personal experiences. In case you don’t agree with them, it is absolutely fine. But, isn’t fine to troll or post nasty judgmental comments in the comment section! It is sad that I had to mention that explicitly that posting nasty comments ain’t cool!
Firstly, What Marriage Is Not?
Marriage is not what Instagram posts and stories want you to believe in. Marriage isn’t about romantic getaways, fancy vacations, or sparky diamonds. Though influencers on social media for few minutes of fame may trick you to believe that marriage is perfect; But honestly, the posts on the reality of marriage hardly exist on Instagram. People may put pics of their fancy getaways but how many of them put posts about fights and their constant struggle to make the marriage work.
Honestly, the real and tough part of marriage is outside social media and romantic movies. Because marriages aren’t as glamorous as they want you to believe.
Most of the time, marriage is about making adjustments, grocery shopping, sitting next to each other without saying a word. Unlike what movies and social media may have led you to believe in, marriage is not about grand gestures rather about mundane activities that you do together for the family. Sometimes, it becomes too tiring boring, and disappointing. During those moments, you realize that marriage isn’t only about love and romance; rather it is about a companion who loves and supports you in the darkest and ugliest moments of life.
Sorry, But Perfect Marriage Doesn’t Exist!
Whatever social media, movies, or people around you push you to believe that what makes a perfect marriage – here is the truth that I wish I knew before getting married – the perfect marriage doesn’t exist! Marriage is messy! Marriage isn’t poetic! Marriage isn’t pretty!
Marriage is when someone not only sees you at your best but also sees you at your worst. Unlike movies, you don’t get up in the morning with makeup; Rather you get up with messy hair, n makeup, and a grumpy face!
What Makes Marriages Tick
Contrary to the popular belief, marriage isn’t about rosy and passionate dates. It is about doing the mundane and boring things together– cooking, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, washing utensils, and fixing things around the house. Believe me, it isn’t easy to love someone when you see them 24*7 in all emotional states including the state of despair, sadness, and disappointment!
We Don’t Need Raj!
We don’t need Raj who can sweep us off the feet. Rather, we want someone who is willing to be there when things get ugly and dark! We probably don’t want a lover, we want a companion who sticks around us when the party is over; when the skin sags and wrinkles appear; when there is not much to say but just to embrace silence! We don’t want romance, we want companionship!