We live in a society, where a married woman is supposed to forget her own parents and dedicate herself completely to her husband and his family. But thankfully, amidst such a patriarchal society, I am blessed to have a husband who understands that my parents will always be my priority. It is heart-touching how he is proud of me for putting them above him on my priority list.
“Rahul, I want to let you know my parents will always be my priority. Unlike what our society expects of Indian daughters, I don’t think I will ever treat them any less than my husband or his family. Rather, there is a high probability that there will be moments when I treat them better than my husband or his family!”, I told my now husband during our arranged marriage meeting!
Before Rahul, I met many men who had issues with my thought of giving my parents equal priority to my husband and his family, even after marriage. And most of the time, the grooms either rejected me or showed their discomfort with the idea of a daughter fully connected to her parents even after marriage!
So I was very surprised, when Rahul shared how he felt it was every son’s and daughter’s responsibility to treat their parents as top priority. While sharing his thoughts, he said:
“Reena, I am going to treat my parents as my priority. There will be moments when I know they will need me more than my wife. And at that time, I’ll make sure they get whatever they need. If I am not going to treat them any less then why should I expect my wife to treat their parents any less!”
My parents are my most important support system, which makes them the biggest priority in my life. And, I never wanted this to be a surprise to my husband. I wanted to be clear with my life partner that my parents would remain my top priority even after marriage. But that doesn’t mean, I don’t love my husband. I do love him a lot but at the same time, I want him to know that he comes after my husband!
And, you know what – my husband respects and adores it about me. Perhaps that’s the reason why Rahul and I are still going strong even after 10 years of marriage. Unlike many husbands, Rahul respects my thoughts and my parents. It is Rahul’s modern thinking that makes my life simpler. Unlike many of my friends and cousins, I don’t have to choose between him and my family.
I am so proud of him for becoming a son and not a damaad to my parents. He makes me so proud how he treats my parents with so much respect. I never asked him to love my family as I do, but he does on his own! And, my in-laws should get all the due credit for raising their son so well. I couldn’t thank them enough.
My parents have been there for me for the last 35 years. They have made endless sacrifices to make sure I get the best in life. And even today, I feel no one gives you selfless love like your parents. So, why does the society expects us to give up on the most beautiful thing that God bestowed on us! Why society expects us to give up on our parents who took care of us when we were most vulnerable!
While many succumb to society’s pressure and give up on their parents for their marriage, I won’t. Thanks to my husband, for me, nothing has changed after marriage.
Dear Society, no bitiya will ever become parai if we raise our sons to be supportive husband! Period!