When it comes to intercultural marriages between North Indians and South Indians, many of our understanding is based on Bollywood movies like 2 States or Chennai Express. But, in reality, things are way more different!
Recently, we stumbled over some great experiences that people shared about their intercultural marriage. From dating, to convincing parents, to getting married, to staying married in midst of different set of culture, these experiences are real eye-openers!
1. “I’m a Tamil woman married to a North Indian. I adore him as he tries speaking Tamil to interact better with my family, he gets excited about the South Indian dishes I cook, watches Tamil movies with me, listens to Tamil music, appreciates it and all this without me asking.” – Quora
2. “I’m a South Indian who married a North Indian girl. Convincing your parents and getting married now is only a small part of the big picture. Sustaining the marriage and leading a happy life is the big challenge. There will be challenges because of the vast cultural differences, the language barrier, family customs and even minor things like food preferences. You may need to make lots of compromises.” – Quora
3. “My roots are from Kerala and my wife’s roots are from Jammu (Rajput). Five years into the relationship, she accepted and understood some Malayali traditions. From eating food made in coconut oil to applying chandan etc., these small gestures increased respect of our whole family towards her. Meanwhile I also learned a few customs from their culture. Our wedding happened in Mumbai so it was more malllu people and less of my wives’ relatives. But as per request it was mix of both styles saath phera and normal thaali kettu.” – Quora
4. “Although we are both Hindu Brahmins, our parents refused to bless our marriage. Our families disowned us. We left our parents’ home on the day of our wedding. And after that the hardships started. Both of us faced them with determination. It took us a few years to settle down. Eventually both the sides came around and accepted us.” – Mukesh Nautiyal
5. “We are from Delhi. My sister got married to a guy from Tamil Nadu. They met in college, and the fact that they were from opposite ends of the country was never a hindrance. That is not to say that cultural differences do not exist between North and South Indians; they do, but the functioning of their relationship is irrelevant of the states they belong to. It’s all about the chemistry, and that is the way it should be.” – Quora
6. “The language and other cultural traditions are significantly different. While the wedding was a mix of Tamil and Marwari traditions, six months into it, and I still feel nervous about interacting with his extended family in Tamil.” – Anonymous
7.”North Indian Rajput married to South Indian Brahmin. I now prefer veg food, and she now loves mutton Biryani.” – Reddit
8. “My mother tongue is Tamil. My husband is Marathi. I was born in a TamBrahm family. He is a brahma kshatriya who eats non-veg. I knew my mother would not approve. Somehow we managed to get married. He is learning Tamil, while I am picking up Marathi. It sure is funny to hear a Marathi guy say ‘Kaka Thukittu Pochu’ (Crow took it and flew away). And he finds it hilarious when I say ‘Majhi Satak Li’. Well, life is going good. All this was possible because I took the leap and confronted my mom. And because of my supportive brother. It is tough to admit. But once you do it, there is no going back.” – Quora
9.”I’m a South Indian. Husband is from Rajasthan. We met on shaadi.com. He had state/caste no bar as his criteria. We are very happy. I don’t like Rajasthani dressing for females which I have to adopt now. He doesn’t like use of curry leaves in all dishes, which I do.” – Quora
In case you have more experiences to share, please let us know in comments below.