Post-marriage depression is a reality. But, sadly many in our society are still unaware of it and confuse it with being emotional.
While getting married brings happiness and love in one’s life, it has an equal tendency of bringing loads of emotions.
The whole process of getting married can be one of the biggest highs in the world – from the proposal to the planning to the ceremony. But that high can be so intense that when the wedding ends, it can cause a giant and unexpected emotional crash.
One can encounter a sudden bummed-out mood, which may leave one feel guilty. It may make you feel like you’re ungrateful for not being 100% happy about your wonderful phase, and—oh yeah— about your partner.
Recently, 5 women shared their post-marriage depression struggle with TOI and we feel it is a high time that society starts talking about it:
1. Reality is Way Less Glam
While sharing her encounter with post-marriage depression, 29-year-old Neha* shared:
“Preparing for the wedding for a year long engagement for me. The buildup, the photoshoots, the wedding trousseau, the minute planning, the personalised invites, save the date shoots, and then it was suddenly all over. I felt like my life had all ended and marriage did not feel like as much fun as the build up to that felt. I had planned every single detail of my wedding but I was not able to decide the way my marriage would go. My husband wanted to relax after the wedding and I felt like I had had an emotional crash.”
2. Lost Motivation In Life
27-year-old Megha* shared how she lost motivation in her life post-marriage:
“My wedding day had become like my sole life goal. And after the wedding, I felt like I had no motivation in life. I had lost a lot of weight for my wedding and with the post wedding gloom, it all started to come back making me feel even more vulnerable. I did not know how to pick myself back up.”
3. Missing Spending Time With Bae
The 24-year-old Trupti* shared how a psychologist helped her fight post-marriage depression and saved her life:
“I had planned the whole wedding with my partner. But I suddenly felt disconnected with him after the wedding. He went back to his work, family and friends and I found the distance between us increasing. He was not just mine any longer. That was when depression hit. That’s when I met a psychologist who helped me through the tough phase. My marriage would have failed had she not helped me. I was extremely vulnerable.”
4. Where’s All The Attention Is Gone
For 29-year-old Madhavi*, post-marriage depression stemmed from the feeling of seeking attention:
“Throughout my life, I was never the center of attention for people around me. But the whole wedding experience changed it for me. I was made to feel like a princess by my family, my husband and his family, who gave me so much importance. But after the wedding, the attention suddenly started to fizzle. And it was tough for me to adjust. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I selfishly wanted all the attention back to myself.”
5. Missing Parents Big Time
While sharing her encounter with post-marriage depression, 33-year-old Irfana* mentioned:
“I missed my family terribly after the wedding and despised seeing my husband settle conveniently in his routine with his family. My whole world had changed and his was just the same – in fact he now even had me right next to him. I started to despise him so much that we started to have endless fights. I used to have long spells of crying and felt miserable. I wanted to run away from my life and go back to living with my parents. It was a tough task to settle in the new life.”
It is disheartening to see how less we know about the depression that one encounters post-wedding. Being raised with an unrealistic expectation of marriage, post-wedding depression is an ugly reality that no one wants to see. But, the good news is anyone struggling with post-wedding depression could easily fight back with the following easy steps:
- Recognizing that a post-wedding slump is unavoidable. You should expect a letdown after the marriage ceremony is over.
- While planning the wedding, pick one night a week to not discuss it. It will help you shift focus from wedding planning to the expectations of married life after the D-day.
- Try to look beyond the marriage day. Find another goal to look forward to.
- If you’re still feeling blue after six months, seek professional help.
Are you are looking to seek professional help, but don’t know how to? Let us know, and we will connect you with our empaneled experts, who will support you in the most effective way.
*Original names have been changed to protect the identity of individuals.