“Kriti, you need to learn how to cook. You are in the 8th standard. People will say that your mother didn’t even teach you how to cook! Humari toh naak hi kat jayegi!”
“Kriti, stop wearing short skirts and dresses! What will people say? Who will marry you? Good families don’t get their sons married to girls who wear such kind of clothes!”
“Why do you want to go to America to study? Stay here, finish your studies, and get married! How will we find a boy for you if you go to America?
“Kriti, girls are not supposed to shout back and express their anger in public? Why are you not like normal girls? I am so worried who will marry you?”
Since our childhood, women are forcibly prepared for marriage. From asking us to act like sanskaari ladki, to pushing us to pick a profession that makes us a good choice for marriage, our parents ensure that every life decision makes us a better prospect for marriage!
It is sad how society spends so much time and energy to forcibly prepare women for marriage, whereas completely forgets about men.
This lack of focus on raising men to be good husbands is the core reason for so many unhappy marriages.
While women are raised to give too much, men give too little. We raise our daughters to be selfless; to make adjustments and compromises; but how many times have you heard parents telling the same to their sons!
While growing up, my mother would tell me,“Clean your cupboard and arrange the clothes properly.” And then, she would go and arrange my brother’s cupboard herself. I would rebel why she didn’t ask my brother to do the same, and she would say – “Women have to clean the homes as you grow up; Once you will get married, you not only have to clean your own wardrobe but also of your husband and kids!”
In case our maid would take a day off, it would be my responsibility to help my mother in cleaning the house and washing the utensils while Bhaiya was expected to do nothing!
For some reason, if my mother wasn’t available during lunch or dinner, she would tell me – “Kriti, whenever Bhaiya wants to eat, serve him! I have kept the food in the kitchen!” But why do I need to serve him? Why can’t he serve himself? Even during dinners, it would be my duty to serve my brother and father as my mother would be busy making chappatis in the kitchen. Whenever I would retaliate, she would tell me – “Serving others is woman’s karma, you better learn to do it without complaint!”
Serving others is fine, but why it has to be only woman’s karma? Why we don’t expect our sons to learn what we expect our daughters to learn?
Parents like my mother are the reason why women have to babysit their husbands – the reasons why women struggle in the marriages; while men enjoy their lives as usual. This is the reason why we expect women to be rehabilitation centres for the badly raised men; the reason why women are expected to make endless compromises and adjustments for their husbands and family!
Dear Society, why do you hate your daughters so much? Even in the 21st century, you expect women to bear the extreme burden of unpaid household chores, while men refuse to step up! Even after being equally qualified and financially sound, why do women have to face such unjust treatment?
I wish society stops raising sons and daughters with different value systems. Hope society will stop focusing all its energies on raising better daughters and start spending some on raising better men. Because for the marriage to work, we don’t only need good wives, but also good husbands!
