Our society hates women standing for equality and dignity. But, what our society hates the most is a supportive husband, who believes in equality in his marriage.
This post is dedicated to those unsung heroes, who believe their wives are no less and don’t shy away from building an equal marriage irrespective of social norms.
We have seen our mothers struggle with the daily household chores along with the other responsibilities. Bringing up kids and taking care of in-laws at the same time along with all household work. While men were considered to be the bread earner of the family, women tend to do rest of the work all alone. They are expected to manage cooking early meals for the family, doing laundry, washing utensils, taking care of their kids, and a lot more.
The times have changed. And, so have our young women’s expectations from marriage.
As women are becoming independent and career-oriented, they know the importance of a supportive husband. They not only want an intelligent and loving husband but they are looking for someone, who can respect them as equals. A husband, who understands that he may need to cook while she attends her office meeting or a husband who needs to change the nappy while she is on a business trip.
But these expectations baffle our society. How could she expects a man to cook or sweep or do laundry?
Though some of us are blessed with helping and supportive husbands. But, it is sad how our society tends to ridicule them at every step of supporting their wives.
Quoting the example of one of my married friends. I still remember the days she was struggling with her pregnancy having mood swings, morning sickness, and swollen feet. Her husband was always there with her that period. He gave her foot massages and the love she was craving for.
He never let her wife do the household chores. Seeing this the mother-in-law taunted my friend and said:
“Pata Nahin Mere Bete Pe Kya Jadu Kar Diya Hai, Joru Ka Gulam Ban Gaya Hai.”
This made my friend feel so sorry because in the end, a woman should support a woman, right? A mother should be happy that her son has turned out a REAL MAN, who is not insecure about his wife and does not shy away from treating her with dignity and self-respect.
But it wasn’t only her mother-in-law who took a jibe at her.
After having a child – both of them shared their duties. While the husband did the cleaning and changing the nappies of the kid, the mother did the feeding. After seeing her brother taking care of his wife, this my friend’s sister-in-law said:
“Bhai Biwi Ki Inti Sewa Karta Hai Ki Pata Hi Nahin Chalta Ghar Ka Naukar Hai Ki Malik”
Rather than being ashamed of what his own sister had to say, my friend’s husband took stand for his wife:
“Why Not? This house is as much mine as much as it is hers; Our kids are as much hers as much they are mine, then why it is only her responsibility to take care of our house and our kids?
Why can’t I do all these things? Even though she doesn’t want me to do things, I feel it is my responsibility to share the burden. It doesn’t make me any less of a man. And, how doing things for your life partner and kids make you a Naukar?”
But while my friend’s husband took a stand, there are so many husbands who want to be supportive but couldn’t be because they are too scared of ‘log kya kahengey‘. It is heartbreaking how our society feels no shame in passing comments on these loving husbands for supporting their wives. It makes us wonder why?
Shouldn’t they be the role models?
Rather than ridiculing them, shouldn’t we celebrate them?
Why always supportive husbands are perceived as wife’s servant?
While the society expects a girl to help her husband out in each and everything, why can’t it be the other way round too? Why can’t we expect men to support women – be it at their career or at home?
Though some modern couples are challenging the age-old concept of marriage. Be it Kareena-Saif or Anushka-Virat, the progressive couples are trying to redefine marriage. But how these celebrities are hailed in public is not the reality of our ugly society. In reality, our patriarchal society still shames these supportive and progressive husbands.
Dear Society, we hope you would shed away your rudimentary and patriarchal mindset. And you would realize that a man, who supports his wife and treat her as equal, isn’t “Joru ka Gulam’ but ‘Equality ka Badshah’.