It is heartbreaking how from being the couple in love, we have become a couple with disagreements and disappointment. Suddenly, the dream of spending life together has become a trap of a lifetime. The more we try to work on our differences, the more we move apart.
Sadly, the biggest area of conflict isn’t about us; it’s about your family. You feel I don’t treat your parents and sister right and I feel that you don’t see their toxic and abusive behavior towards me. You blame me for not having a good relationship with your family and I blame you for not taking a stand for me.
I know you don’t feel any different from what I feel about our condition. Even though we want to make our marriage a happy one, but lately it feels like a lot of work. Every time we sit for sorting our differences out we feel disappointed in each other.
I want to tell you that I do understand that why you can’t take a stand for me against your family. Doesn’t matter how wrong it is, but I do understand that you feel obligated not to take a stand against your parents. But, what I don’t understand is why you blame me for not having a good relationship with your family!
I do understand that marriage isn’t just about you and me. It is also about our families too! But what I don’t understand is how you couldn’t see the groupism and ill-treatment that I have been put through.
While you have blamed me for not having a cordial relationship with your parents, why you never questioned your family for treating me like an outsider. Why you never question them. You tend to ignore all that they do to me and only tell me what needs to be done… Why?
Just because I am your wife doesn’t give you a right to treat me like a doormat. Just because I am married to you doesn’t give you a license to expect me to compromise on my self-respect and dignity!
You blame me for not being the woman of your dreams – the woman who understands you, the woman who respects your parents! And believe me, I tried really hard to be that woman. But I gave up when I realized you were not even trying to be the man of my dreams – the man who understands me, the man who stands for his wife!
I know it’s not easy for you to find the solution to this problem. You are the link that joins all of us and it could be really tough for you to balance the situation. But, please just in the quest to be a good son, don’t forget that you are a husband too! I am changing for you and your family, can you help them change too! I am making adjustments, can you help them make adjustments too!
Though I do understand that you expect me to respect your parents as an ideal daughter in law; but for that, your parents need to be ideal in-laws; ones who respect their daughters-in-law, ones who treat their daughter-in-law as a daughter!
I am ready to work on my relationship with your family but stop expecting only me to make changes; to make adjustments; to compromise. I am ready to be an ideal daughter in law but first, you need to be an ideal husband!