In today’s era, when words like marriage and soulmate are losing significance, the marriage of Narayan and Sudha Murthy still makes us believe in true love. Their beautiful relationship brings out a very important message that successful marriages need much more than just ROMANCE.
We not only take inspiration from their successful careers and their simplicity but also how their marriage stood the testing times. From time to time, the couple has come forward to share the profound relationship advice that makes them role models for many married couples.
Recently, we came across one such interview, where Narayan Murthy and Sudha Murthy shared some of the most important marriage principles that make their relationship successful. From talking about respecting each other’s differences to giving each other space to letting go of the desire to control each other to staying busy, the couple shared what it takes to make a marriage successful in today’s time.
#1: Respect Each Other Differences & Give Space
While talking to Bhavana Bhatia about respecting each other’s differences and giving each other’s space, Sudha Murthy mentioned:
“We are two different individuals – I am an extrovert; my husband is an introvert. I love music, movies, students, talk, etc; Murthy wants to do deep thinking. I don’t do so much of deep thinking. Because my areas of expertise are different. So, I let him have his space for his own pursuit of his passion.
Suppose, I call him for a movie, he will be uncomfortable. And, I don’t want to see a movie with the person next to me not comfortable seeing a nice movie with dance and song sequence. So, I let him have his own space where what he like; he can do. Similarly, he has let me have mine.”
#2: Don’t Control Each Other
While talking about giving each other space, Sudha Murthy further continued:
“We have allowed each other to have our own space. I love my work and my work makes me travel for 18-20 days a month. There are so many days I am absent from the house. But he understands that why I do what I do. Because I don’t control him, similarly he doesn’t control me;
We respect each other’s passion; We respect each other’s space; And, still you can be different and still can be together; Like I always say – opposite poles attract each other!
Image: Narayan Murthy & Sudha Murthy
#3: Busy Couple Is A Happy Couple
While answering the question about a successful marriage, Narayan Murthy shared how for any happy relationships it is important for partners to stay busy. While focusing on the importance of staying busy, he added:
“A very healthy mechanism to maintain harmony in any relationship is for both the partners to be very busy. That’s very important. Otherwise, what happens is that one of the two partners will get upset over a period of time. What is this, this fellow isn’t looking after my needs at all; or what is this my wife isn’t looking after my needs etc. So, keep yourself totally busy for a certain number of years.”
Unlike many households, where partners lack gratitude for each other in a relationship, Narayan Murthy shares he is grateful to his wife for taking up the bigger responsibility of bringing up their children. Sharing the details how he is so grateful to Sudha Murthy, he added:
” My wife has always been the first to make adjustment in everything that we did. e.g. when we sat down and said – either you can start Infosys or I will start Infosys. But, if you want me to start Infosys, then you will have a much bigger responsibility in life; which is that of bringing up our children.”
He further added:
“…Sudha agreed voluntarily herself that she would look after children and bring them up as responsible, well-educated, good value based youngsters. Unless she did that at that point in time, when you retire or when you grow old, the biggest cause of disappointment to parents is their children.
Their children don’t come up well. I know lots of my friends, who are successful surgeons, who are successful professors, who are successful CEOs, but somehow the family forgot to bring up the children well. And, today they are so disappointed. They feel so bad.
So, therefore, I would say I am extremely grateful to my wife for taking up the most important responsibility of our partnership, which is that of bringing up our two children.
Sharing how the positive mindset of both the partners is crucial for the successful marriage, Narayan Murthy further adds:
“Both the partners have to have a positive mindset. Because, what happens is when I come back from the office and I had a very rough day, that is the time, when I want my wife to show her positive attitude, support me, say good things, cheer me up, etc.
Similarly, if the children gave much trouble to her during the day and if I come back in the evening then I should be the one who says good things to her and support her. I must say that we were very lucky that she majorly and me minorly showed that positive attitude.”
Finally, Narayan Murthy shares the key essence of any successful relationship is in the Need. Concluding, Narayan Murthy said:
“And, finally, both the partners must need each other. I should need her value addition to partnership and she should need my value addition to partnership. Otherwise, no partnership will ever succeed.”
At IFORHER, we are in awe of this couple as they have been role models for many married couples. We want to thank them for their great marriage advice and wish them luck, love, and togetherness for years to come. Hope they keep inspiring us.