While many may think success of marriage depends on grand gestures, the reality is that the marriage is about thousands of little things that happen everyday. Recently, we stumbled over a beautiful internet thread, where netizen asked the Married people: “What are the “little things” that keep your marriage healthy?”.
In response to the above question, many married people came forward to share beautiful little things that kept their marriage healthy and happy. Here are some of the best responses:
1. Small Gestures Big Impact
“Thank you”, “I love you”, and touching each other’s butt. Works for us. ~ Eliana45
2. Are You Arguing Because You Are Hungry
We both agreed that whenever we start to have an argument to do a “gut check”, i.e. check if either one of us is hungry. If so, end the argument immediately, eat something, and wait half an hour to see if we want to resume arguing. We now argue about twice a year. ~ SsurebreC
3. Give More & Expect Less
My mom calls this the 60/40 rule. Give 60, expect 40. If both partners stick to this, everyone wins. My parents have been married for 25 years and are the literal definition of relationship goals. ~ asleepunderthebridge
This is going to sound strange but: each of you give your partner the “big half”. ~ Salt-Pile
A marriage is not a 50/50 effort. It’s 60/40, and both people have to be trying to be that 60. ~ SeducesStrangers
4. You’re Married Doesn’t Mean You Are Not Dating Anymore
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re not dating anymore. This is good advice. For example, i get home hours before my wife, so by time she text me to say she is on her way home, I’m sitting there in my underwear, playing video games with a beer on the go. I’m so comfortable, and do not want to move… But I say to myself “would you let a new girlfriend come over and see you like this?” So I force myself to go brush my teeth, put on some pants, tidy a bit and have a fresh glass of water ready for her. I don’t know if she notices, but it forces me to be present and not take her for granted. ~ Tdot_Grond
5. Don’t Bottle Up Things
Arguments. More specifically, not bottling things up. If I’m being an asshole, my wife will tell me. There’s no need to yell at each other, but sort shit out. ~ BeanerSA
6. Apologizing Even When You Think You Are Right
Sometimes apologizing even when I think I’m right. This is so important. I watched a fight blossom between my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law over nothing last month. She made a small mistake on something that she worked hard on. He pointed out her mistake in a way that she felt belittled the work she’d done. The whole thing escalated because he chose to stick with “But I was right!” when he could have just said, “I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.” You can be both correct and kind. ~ shevrolet
7. Letting Them Know When You Are Upset So That They Don’t Have To Guess & Stress
Letting her know when I’m upset so that she doesn’t have to guess and we can talk about it. Never going to bed mad at one another. Sometimes apologizing even when I think I’m right. Apologizing for hurting her feelings even if it was unintentional.
I love my wife. I enjoy threads like this for reminding me how lucky I am to have someone like her. Thanks OP 🙂 ~ ssjgoat
8. It’s Not About Winning During Arguments
We’re also open with each other and tackle problems as a team. Neither of us ever set out to “win” an argument. It’s always us Vs the issue. We never go to bed angry if we do argue and to be honest that’s rare. ~ delibertine
9. Being Present For Each Other
He has an alarm that goes off at 9:15 every night that he calls his “bumbledaisy” alarm. He stops whatever he is doing, sings a little song and then asks me if he can do anything for me. Most of the time I just want a hug and a kiss.
10. Words Are Not The Only Way To Comfort Each Other
I’m one of those people that absolutely suck at knowing what to say when trying to comfort someone and I’ll always wind up saying something that just makes it worse…I think the best relationship advice I have ever received is that you don’t have to always verbally comfort them and you can still let them know you care by just being there – holding their hand or just sitting with them while they’re sad.This saves me many times. ~ Richard_james2
11. There Are No His Chores & Her Chores
He helps with everything around the house; laundry, dishes, cleaning, our daughter. I help with everything outside the house; mow, trim, move heavy shit, car maintenance…etc. There is no his and hers chores. We all live under the same roof, we’re all into taking care of it together. We also powerlift together. He spots me, I spot him. We cheer each other on and help each other reach goals. The encouragement goes outside the gym and really makes us a solid team. He’s truly my best buddy. ~ sauerpatchkid
12. Letting Things Go
Just letting things go. Seriously. Don’t argue about every little thing that pisses you off. ~FlakeyGurl
Do let us know your thoughts!