Recently, when a newly wedded asked Reddit users for some marriage advice, many married couples came forward to share what it takes to create a successful marriage. The thread turned out to be an instant hit among the community.
Reddit user hit up AskReddit with a question that many could benefit from hearing the answer to. The user posted the question asking: “Just got married the other day, wondering what is the key to a happy marriage?” As the question was posted, hundreds of people flooded the comments with really good advice.
Here are some of the best responses that we felt need to be read by every couple before they tie the knot:
1. You & Your Spouse vs. Problem
“Always remember it’s you and your spouse vs the problem, not you vs your spouse,” eloel answered.
2. Friendship Is Mandatory
“Don’t forget to be friends,” said FiveSixSleven. “To make each other laugh, to have fun, and to take the time to appreciate the best parts of each other.”
3. Open Communication & Honesty: The Essence Of Marriage
the_monkey_of_lies shared that it’s all about communication. “Communication. Be open. If you can’t, then think long and hard if it’s smart to spend your life with someone you need to hide from.” One user added to that saying, “Make sure you are always open and honest with each other too. You are a partnership and need to take on challenges in life together, and if you are doing that from different POV’s, then it is so much harder to beat them.”
4. First Year Is The Hardest
“Forget the nonsense about the first year being a honeymoon,” mswholock wrote, adding that this advice served them well in their marriage. “That’s BS. The first year will be the hardest year of your marriage while you work to mesh two very independent lives together, but if you stick through it and can build on each day together, then you’ll get to the honeymoon phase that lasts a lot longer.”
5. Spouse Comes First Not Last
Sharing a piece of meaningful advice, a user said “Your spouse should be the first one to know that something’s not right within the relationship – not the last.”
6. Both Partners Need To Pull The Weight
cuish shared that’s it all about equal partnership. “Recognising that all successful relationships (and by extension marriage) require time and effort from both people to work. Everything else (like communication and trust) follows on from that. Relationships don’t work when one person doesn’t pull their weight and barely does anything. That’s when they fail.”
7. No Marriage Is Immune To Divorce; Make Effort To Keep The Relationship Alive
Another user shared: “Realize that absolutely no relationship ever is immune to divorce. The worst thing you can do is spend your life thinking that you don’t need to put in the effort because “we are different” or “we’re too solid to have those kinds of problems.” No, you aren’t, and no you aren’t. It takes a conscious effort from both of you for the rest of your lives to keep the relationship alive and make it fulfilling. When people talk about divorce rates, they tend to focus on marriages that last around 10 years that fail spectacularly. Well, that’s not the whole ballgame. You’d be shocked how many people get divorced after 20-30 years because they realize one day “you know what, I don’t care about this marriage anymore. I don’t think I love you anymore. I guess I haven’t for a while.” That’s because they fell into the trap years prior where they thought things were fine and assumed the relationship could just coast.”
8. Don’t Say Bad Things About Partners To Other People
A user shared: “I have a rule: I do not say bad things about my wife to other people.” The other user added, “This is a good one. I will vent to a couple of close friends who I know are rooting for the relationship and can help me process something that happened, but general griping about your spouse is not a good move.”
9. Don’t Put The Whole Burden Of Chores On Your Spouse
Another user rudebish said: “Split the chores. This includes not letting all of the (daily) tasks fall on her ie. appointments for kids/pets/doctor/dentist/house stuff etc.”
10. Marriage Is 100% Commitment To Each Other
Aalove said: “Marriage is 100/100, not 50/50. If both parties are fully committed and treat each other like humans, you won’t have a problem. Don’t put anything off for the other person to do. For example: you see dishes in the sink, put them in the dishwasher. Don’t leave it for the other spouse. You hate doing dishes? Well maybe spouse hates dishes too. A marriage is constant work but it doesn’t have to be WORK. The Golden Rule isn’t just for kindergarten kids. Treat each other how you would like to be treated.”
Do let us know if you also have any piece of amazing marriage advice for married couples!
