Dear Indian Men,
Why do you treat your wives unfairly? Why you hold such a high standard of behavior from your wives while you hold none from others? You expect wives to treat your parents with the utmost respect; then why don’t you have the same level of expectations from your parents too? You fight, shame, or force your wives to treat your parents right, then why don’t you do the same for your wives?
There are so many women, who are bearing the burden of your unfair expectations. Even in our own homes, we witness the hypocrisy of Indian Men every day! We see you shaming us or fighting with us for not treating your parents well but why haven’t we ever seen you doing the same to your parents for not treating us well!
Here are some examples of your hypocrisy.
#1: When your parents talk to her rudely, you would say:
“Please ignore their tone. They didn’t mean it. They want the best for you. You just need to get adjusted to them!”
But when your wife talks to your parents in a similar tone, you would say:
“Reema, how can you talk to my parents in such tone? This is so hurtful.”
#2: When your parents complain to you about your wife, you will listen to them patiently and calmly. In most cases, you would even pass on the feedback to your wife and expect her to change for your parents.
But when your wife has issues with your parents, you won’t entertain the idea of your parents changing their behavior for a moment. Rather than asking your parents to adjust, you will once again ask her to adjust. You will say:
“Please don’t complain to me about my parents. You should learn how to adjust with them rather than coming back to me with problems.”
#3: You will keep asking your wife to accept your parents as her own and your home as hers. But, why you never ask your parents to accept their daughter-in-law as their own daughter? Why you don’t hold your parents accountable for treating your wife as an outsider?
These are just a few of the moments when we witnessed your hypocrisy! There are many times when we have felt the pinch of your unfair treatment.
No one can deny it is fair to expect your life partner to respect your parents, to treat them well. But, what makes it unfair is the fact that when your parents disrespect or mistreat your partner, you tend to shut your eyes and ears. You refuse to acknowledge any sort of wrongdoing or ill-treatment.
As we are living in the 21st century, many women are fighting for equality. Sadly, this fight for equality is tougher at home than outside. Because, as they fighting against your own is the toughest. And, we can’t win this battle of equality without your support.
So, to take the first step towards equality in our homes, dear Indian Men here’s a humble request: While you expect your wife to treat your parents well, can you also make sure your parents treat her right!
Disclaimer: This post is not relevant to the minuscule number of men who are true believers in equality. They not only promote equality in their offices but also in their homes. We want to thank those men for being true heroes and role models for the coming generations!