Our society expects its women to make every decision – irrespective of how small or big it is – only basis one parameter i.e. marriage. Women are expected to choose careers that make them a good prospect for being a wife; choose jobs that allow them to give adequate time for their family!
While society is busy raising women to build a life around marriage; it forgets one very important thing i.e. how to treat its women in marriage. It forgets that women don’t marry to be insulted, but to be loved!
Since my childhood, my parents and relatives never cared about how good I was in my studies. The only thing that they worried about was if I was tall, fair and slim enough to get the good rishtas. Even later in my life, I was forced to pick up a profession that increases my chances to get married.
But, that’s not it. At every step of my career or job, I was told to make every decision based on one parameter i.e. How it would make the life of my husband and his parents better?
So, whenever I got an opportunity to do better in my career, I was asked to turn it down because either it expected me to spend more time on my job or it expected me to travel leaving my husband and his parents behind for a few days!
But, believe me, I had no issues in making those sacrifices if I would have received one thing that any woman expects from her husband and in-laws i.e. LOVE. While I was making sacrifices for my husband and in-laws, they were busy insulting me. Rather than applauding my sacrifices, they made it sound like my kartavya to sacrifice for the family. Every time, I got an opportunity to do things that I like, I was reminded of how I had to think about my family before I think about myself.
I was expected to sacrifice for the family that hardly treated me like a family; I was expected to give up on my dreams for the people, who hardly cared or loved me! I was expected to build my life around people, who had no basic courtesy to respect me or treat me like a human.
But, this isn’t just my story. There are so many women who are told to build their lives around their marriage; who are told that nothing comes before their husbands and in-laws; who are told to give up on their dreams if that brings happiness to their family!
But, what they are not told is that while they would be busy making all the sacrifices for people, the very same people would be busy breaking them down!
It is sad how our society expects a woman to give up everything for the people, who treat her worse than the animals. With no respect and dignity, she is expected to make endless sacrifices and compromises. And, whenever, she demands a bit of love and respect from these people, they blame her for being too demanding!
While I am making a decision to not sacrifice my life anymore for those people who can’t treat me like a human, I wish society remembers that women don’t marry to be insulted, humiliated and abused! We marry for love and respect. And, those who can’t offer us that love and respect, don’t deserve us! Dear Women, Please stop making sacrifices for people who don’t value you. Because, people who can’t understand your worth, don’t deserve you! Period!