“Megha, you are so lucky! Rohan is such a compassionate human being! He is so loving and caring! The way he takes care of people around him shows how warm he is as a person! He is a gem of a person! You are blessed to have a husband like Rohan! I could only wonder when he takes care of his family so much, how much he would take care of you!”, my cousin sister tells me as she came to stay with us for a few days!
But, this wasn’t the first time that I heard how Rohan was one of the most caring persons one can come across! Or how lucky I was to have Rohan as my husband! While my family and friends were huge fans of Rohan and his caring attitude, I had a very different take on it. I had access to the dark side of Rohan, which was very different from the image that he would show in the public.
When people would talk about how great he was as a person, I would wonder how shallow he was as a husband! When people would talk about how he was a gem of a person; I couldn’t stop but wonder how hypocritical he was!
While Rohan had his love and care for everyone in the world, but except his wife! While he would rush to support anyone in this world, whenever I needed his support, he would refuse to stand for me! While he would spread positive vibes in the outside world, behind the four doors, he would be toxic and full of negativity! He would leave not a single chance to gaslight me!
But, Rohan wasn’t the only husband, who was living a life of a hypocrite. There are so many husbands who act like heroes, who are saving the world but behind the four doors of their house, they are no less than a villain.
It is so painful to be married to a man, who has time and emotions for the whole world except his own wife! Not just that, it hurts when people come to you and tell you how blessed or lucky you are! Because, sadly, it is only you, who know how lonely and heartbroken you are in the one-sided marriage! But, what hurts the most is the fact that when you tell your parents or family or friends about how your husband isn’t loving or caring enough, they wouldn’t believe you! Parents would be so blinded by the public image created by the husband that they refuse to trust their own daughter! Rather than believing you, even your friends would tell you, how unthankful you are to be with such a caring man!
It is worst to be with a husband, who has the capability to show the emotions to the whole world but not to his own wife; who has the capability to be positive and loving to others but not to her!
So, the next time, your daughter or your friend shows the courage to speak to you about how unhappy she is in her marriage, please don’t tell her how she is blessed to have a caring husband! Don’t tell her how unthankful she is! Don’t tell her how she is stupid for being unhappy when she is married to a man, whom many may love to marry! Rather than shaming her, support her to fight for herself and her pride!