As Halloween is around the corner, so are the Halloween jokes. This is our comprehensive collection of Halloween jokes that would leave you with a perfect laugh, leading to a perfect celebration.
These Halloween puns will leave your friends, family and guests charmed in the best way possible. So, be ready to have the most fa-boo-lous holiday with our best collection of Halloween jokes. If you are planning for Halloween Party for your kids, here are some of the BEST FUN HALLOWEEN GAMES FOR KIDS. And, if you would like to have some additional laughs, don’t forget to read our DARK JOKES COLLECTION, which is quite popular over the internet.
Funny Ghost and Goblin Jokes
- What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
- What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
- What position does a ghost play in hockey? A Goulie
- What kinds of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans.
- Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers!
- What is a ghost’s nose full of? Boooooogers!
- Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
- Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures
- Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
- Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
- Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
- Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
- Why did the ghost starch his sheet ? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
- What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
- What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert? I-Scream!
- Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
- How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo hooing.
- Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Boo-tiques!
- How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo.
Funny Mummy Jokes
- Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
- Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
- What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
- Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
- Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.
- How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
- Where does a mummy go on vacation? The Dead Sea.
Funny Vampire Jokes
- Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
- How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
- What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
- What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
- How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
- What happens when a vampire goes in the snow? Frost-bite.
- What is a vampire’s favourite holiday, besides Halloween? Fangs-giving!
- Why don’t vampires have more friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.
- What do you give a vampire when he’s sick? Coffin-drops.
- What is a vampire’s favourite fruit? A blood orange.
Funny Skeleton Jokes
- Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
- Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no “body” to dance with.
- What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
- Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
- How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it.
- What instrument does a skeleton play? The trombone.
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because there was no “Body” on the other side.
Funny Witch Jokes
- What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
- What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
- What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spell-ing!
- What do you call two witches living together? Broom-mates!
- What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
- How does a witch style her hair? With scare-s-pray.
- What do you call a witch who goes to the beach? A sand-witch.
Funny Monster Jokes
- What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
- What’s big, scary and has three wheels? A monster riding a tricycle!
- What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
- Which Halloween monster is good at math? Count Dracula!
- Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
- What kind of dog does Dracula have? A blood hound.
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry … it’s just my Halloween costume!
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
- Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
- Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!
Funny Pumpkin Jokes
- Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
- What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
- Why did the pumpkin take a detour? To avoid a seedy part of town.
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.
- Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
- What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
Halloween Dad Jokes
- How do vampires start their letters? Tomb it may concern.
- Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
- How do you get rid of demons? Exorcise a lot.
- I dropped my pumpkin yesterday. Jack-o-lantern? More like crack-o-lantern!
- Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
- I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
- Why don’t I like Dracula? He’s a pain in the neck.
- What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Some More Halloween Jokes That Are Too Punny!
- What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
- What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
- When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat? If you are a mouse.
- Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is? People are just dying to get in.
Halloween Food Jokes
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
- What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? “Bone Appetit!”
- What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
- What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
- What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
- What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
- What fruit do scarecrows love the most? Straw-berries.
- What candy do you eat on the playground? Recess pieces.
- What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
- Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
