My mother always used to tell me that parenting is TOUGH!
And, I used to tell her that it’s definitely not tougher than being her CHILD!
She would roll her eyes and mumble those words that every child has definitely heard once in a lifetime-
“Jab Tum Ma Banogi Tab Pata Chalega”
There is one universal truth for all the moms:
The only time we start agreeing with our moms more often than ever is when we become mother ourselves!
And, I am no anomaly to this truth!
After being a mother myself, I have moved to the other side of the argument. And, my place has been taken by my 5-year-old son! Now, I think nothing is tougher than being a mother whereas my kid believes otherwise!
But, now with time I have realised that I am not one of those Pinterest mothers, who have everything under control.
I am not so perfect. I am work-in-progress. And, I am ready to make mistakes and learn on the way!
So, here I am telling you what I learned recently about Manipulation And Parenting!
I know some people will be quick to judge and label me as a bad mom! Frankly, I don’t care!
I am writing for the ones who are not so perfect! I am writing for those who try to learn a thing or two about parenting every day!
Parenting & Manipulation
After my two-year long trial and error efforts, I managed to devise a system to make my son learn to eat all vegetables – from spinach to bottle gourd!
My system was based on complete manipulation but the beauty of that system was it worked and it worked beautifully without hiccups!
So, I just changed the nomenclature of some dishes and surprisingly my kid was ready to eat anything under the sun!
Besan/ Moong Dal Chilla became ‘Yellow Dosa’
White Chana rechristened as ‘Small Round Allu’
Black Chana turned into ‘Black Small Alu’
Kadhi became ‘Pakori Wali Dal’
Palak gravy turned into ‘Green Wali Dal’
Bottle Gourd turned into ‘Green Alu’ and many more
This system was working flawlessly until his friends shared insights with him how he was being fooled for the last three years.
His friends went one step ahead to educate and introduce the right names to him and left him with the sense of – “Teri Mummy Tujshe Jhooth Bolti Hai”. And, after coming back from school with tears rolling down his cheeks, he said to me:
“Jhooth Bolna To Buri Baat Hoti Hai, Aap Hi Kahte Ho”.
At that moment, I was so ashamed of myself. I promised myself that there would be no lie or manipulation going forward in my journey of motherhood – even if that lie is for my son’s own good. I spent a lot of time to give him an explanation but he wasn’t convinced at all!
My Son’s First Revolt
And, then for the next few days, my son turned into a rebel. My home saw his first “Bagawat Ki Lehar”. He refused to eat whatever I cooked as he had doubts about my honesty.
The struggle was getting tougher every day. Anger, love, bribe – nothing worked. I made him stand out of the house as he refused to finish the meal. After ten minutes, he would disappear to play with his friends!
I tried another tactic of bribing him to finish veg pulao to get chips in return. But even that didn’t work!
With every passing day, I was losing my patience. Finally, one day I broke. I cooked Maggi for him and told him that he can eat whatever he wants.
The little monster knew he had won!
He couldn’t contain his smile and came quickly came to wipe off my tears and kissed my cheek and said
“Let me eat Maggi today as we shouldn’t waste it. And, from tomorrow onwards I will eat what ever you want me to. But don’t lie to me! “
Things I Learnt
This incident made me realise that no matter what your age, manipulation hurt us equally!
Sometimes, as parents, we succumb ourselves to the pressure of manipulation! Only later to find out that we have breached the trust of our own kids!
And, you can never outsmart your kids as they are more refined and evolved products of our genes!
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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of I for Her. Authors are responsible for any omissions or errors. And, I for Her does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.
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