If you are a mother, then you will understand that parenting 2-year-old isn’t easy at all. The level of tantrums and the number of sleepless nights are never-ending.
And when 2 weeks ago, I was at a brink of losing my confidence in myself as a mother, I turned to my mother for advice.
My conversation with my mother was all about the self-doubt that I had about being a mother. With every passing day, I felt I wasn’t made to be a mom.
I had a constant fear of losing control and was under extreme stress.
Me: You used to make mothering look so easy … it’s anything but easy! What am I doing wrong?
Mom: You’re not doing anything wrong. Being a mom was never easy, but your world is so much more complicated than mine ever was. You have lots of choices and many more items on your to-do list. And believe me, there were times I was literally into tears because things neither felt right nor under control.
Me: Mom, I feel I neither understood motherhood nor my baby. The baby doesn’t stop throwing tantrums. And with every tantrum I feel I am losing a bit more. I feel super-frustrated by the end of day. And, every night before going to sleep I look at his face and wonder whether having him was a bad decision. I constantly feel that I am a bad mother.
My mother looked at me and hugged me as if she exactly knew what I was going through.
After a week, she sent me this beautiful post that made me wonder that Life is difficult not only for me but also for my two-year-old.
Hope this would help any mom who is struggling with similar emotions.
This post was shared by Mary Katherine Backstrom of Mom Babble, which captures a diary passage written from the perspective of a 2-year-old, by an unknown author.
Diary Of A 2-Year-Old:
Today I woke up and wanted to get dressed by myself but was told, “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”
This made me sad. I wanted to feed myself for breakfast but was told, “No, you’re too messy, let me do it for you.” This made me feel frustrated.
I wanted to walk to the car and get in on my own but was told, “No, we need to get going, we don’t have time. Let me do it.” This made me cry.
I wanted to get out of the car on my own but was told, “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.” This made me want to run away.
Later I wanted to play with blocks but was told. “no, not like that, like this…” I decided I didn’t want to play with blocks anymore.
I wanted to play with a doll that someone else had, so I took it, I was told “no, don’t do that, you have to share.”
I’m not sure what I did, but it made me sad. So I cried. I wanted a hug but was told, “no, you’re fine, go play”.
I’m being told it’s time to pick up, I know this because someone keeps saying, “Go pick up your toys.” I am not sure what to do, I am waiting for someone to show me….”What are you doing, why are you just standing there, pick up your toys…Now.” I was not allowed to dress myself or move my own body to get to where I needed to go, but now I am being asked to pick things up.
I’m not sure what to do. Is someone supposed to show me how to do this? Where do I start? Where do these things go?
I am hearing a lot of words but I do not understand what is being asked of me. I am scared and do not move. I lay down on the floor and cry.
When it was time to eat I wanted to get my own food but was told, “no, you’re too little, let me do it.” This made me feel small. I tried to eat the food in front of me but I did not put it there and someone keeps saying “here, try this, eat this…” and putting things in my face. I didn’t want to eat anymore. This made me want to throw things and cry.
I can’t get down from the table because no one will let me…because I’m too small and I can’t. They keep saying I have to take a bite. This makes me cry more. I’m hungry and frustrated and sad. I’m tired and I need someone to hold me. I do not feel safe or in control. This makes me scared. I cry even more.
I am 2. No one will let me dress myself, no one will let me move my own body where it needs to go, no one will let me attend to my own needs.
However, I am expected to know how to share, “listen”, or “wait a minute”. I am expected to know what to say and how to act or handle my emotions. I am expected to sit still or know that if I throw something it might break….But, I do NOT know these things.
I am not allowed to practice my skills of walking, pushing, pulling, zipping, buttoning, pouring, serving, climbing, running, throwing or doing things that I know I can do. Things that interest me and make me curious, these are the things I am NOT allowed to do.
I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.
So, if you feel your toddlers are driving you crazy, remember its all new for them too. They are also undergoing a lot of struggles. They are trying to learn complex emotions and how to manage them for the first time.
And in the end, there is a reminder for all parents – there is no perfect way to parent. Just remember – “Sometimes kids are kids. Y’all are doing a great job!
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