This letter is not just about my daughter, who is struggling in a toxic marriage for the sake of her old parents. But for every daughter, every woman, who is suffering the abuse just because she believes her old parents can’t take the pain of her strong step of standing for herself! I wish every parent could tell their daughters how they can always stand for themselves – without worrying about how their step will disappoint their parents!
Dear Daughter, We never raised you to tolerate abuse; We never raised you to tolerate pain; We raised you to be happy; We raised you to live life fully; We raised you to live life on your own terms!
But hardly we knew that there would be a time when you would be suffering the abuse, just because you don’t want to hurt your parents. You will continue being the victim of abuse, only because you think your old parents can’t handle your failed marriage!
Beta, there were times when parents would let their daughters suffer just because they were scared ‘log kya kahengey!”. But, not anymore! Atleast your parents are not one of those parents who would rather see their daughters dead than divorced.
Dear daughter, we never wanted to be your weakness. We always wanted to be your strength.
So, stop suffering the abuse for the sake of your parents.
Stop telling yourself that your old parents can’t handle your strong decision of standing for yourself!
Stop telling yourself that you have failed your parents – just because you couldn’t find love and respect in your marriage!
Stop telling yourself that you are a failure – just because you decided to stand for yourself.
No parents raise their daughters so that they could be broken for shallow egos. No parents spend their whole life seeing their daughters compromising on their happiness. No parents want to see their daughters suffer. And if they do, they don’t deserve to be parents.
So beta, don’t worry about us! We would be very happy if you stand for yourself. We would be very proud if you don’t care what society has to say and just focus on your happiness. We would be extremely happy if you could just lead your own path and live your life on your own terms.
You fighting for yourself shows how strong we have raised you to be. It shows how we have raised a warrior and not a victim.
Dear Daughter, please remember, your parents may be old now but they are strong enough to be your support. We are strong enough to stand by you against the whole world. We are courageous enough to walk shoulder to shoulder with you on this path of fighting for your dignity! We are the wind under your wings, and not the weight to pull you down.
Ma – Pa