“You are 27 now. It’s high time you start meeting guys. Otherwise, you will be too old to get a good match!”
“But papa, I don’t want to get married right now. I have to focus on my career, my practice! Throughout my childhood, you kept telling me how I need to work hard to be successful and independent! And, you yourself worked so hard to pay my college fees. Now is the time, that I work hard to repay the loan that you took for my education!”
“Beta, I never asked you for money. I have already paid most of the loan. You don’t have to delay marriage because of money or because of career. You have your whole life to build your career. There are so many women who are building their career after marriage! Career isn’t a good excuse not to get married, especially when you are a 27-year-old woman!”
“Papa, if I am a woman that doesn’t mean I don’t have a right to be married when I am ready! And, why you want me to be married anyway. I am independent, strong and happy. I don’t think marriage can add anything to my life that I don’t have!”
“Beta, you are strong, independent and happy now! But, what about 5 years from now! Marriage brings security for women! Marriage will bring emotional stability, financial stability and so much more!”
“Papa, it is heart-breaking how you worked so hard in your life to make me strong and independent. You pushed me throughout my life to be strong and independent so that I never need anyone to take care of me! And, though I have nothing against marriage, it is sad that you are forcing me to get into marriage so that I could have a husband to take care of me!”
It leaves me speechless how our Indian parents struggle so much, work so hard, fight so many battles to raise their daughters as strong and independent. But, as soon as they become independent, they start forcing them to get married; to be dependent on a man for a brighter future!
The irony is that many strong and independent women succumb to the pressure of family and society and get married. After marriage, they are told to make endless compromises and adjustments for the sake of family, husband, kids, society etc. They are pushed so much under the guilt of being a selfless wife, mother and a daughter-in-law; that they hardly think about their own happiness, or their own dreams!
As I refuse to tie a knot under any pressure and waiting for marriage till I am ready, I just have few questions to every parent who is forcing their daughters to get married against their wishes:
Why raise an independent daughter, if you want to force her to be dependent on a man!
Why raise her to be strong and self-sufficient, when you feel only marriage completes her!
Why push her to strive so hard to be successful, when you ask her to give up on her dreams for marriage!
Dear Parents, stop giving us wings, when you want to cage us! Let us fly, let us fly higher!
