For any mother, one of the most heartbreaking moments is when the only person she wants to be strong for, her kid, sees her in a weak moment. When she wants to wipe off her tears and smile for her kid but couldn’t. As a mother, I have witnessed that moment multiple times in my life.
My marriage didn’t turn out the way I expected it to. Even though I am educated and financially independent, but I was still that woman, who wanted to make her marriage work.
Every time when my toxic in-laws insulted me and my husband watched it silently, I felt helpless. In those weak moments, I used to find myself split between a wife that wanted her marriage work and an independent woman, who was tired of being used as an educated maid or a punching bag. And, that dilemma brought so many emotions, that my heart sank and I couldn’t stop crying. And, at that moment, my leftover soul was crushed every time I saw my two little boys watching their momma crying.
Those moments were the weakest moments for me. Every time I would wonder – what kind of man my sons would be? What kind of husbands my sons would be? Is my husband becoming a lesson for them? Is he teaching my sons how women to be treated?
These questions used to add fuel to my agony and pain. Because being a woman, who never got the love and respect that she ever hoped for, it was heart-wrenching that my sons would do the same to their wives.
Anything worse than being the wife of an emotionally abusive husband could be the mother of an abusive son. In those moments, the only thing that I cared in the entire universe was that my sons need to be much better men; they need to be the men, a woman deserves! They need to know that being a son is as important as being a husband! Not only taking a ‘saat pheras’ make a man husband, but it is also the duty to stand with their wives and protect their honor.
As a modern-era woman, I want my sons to be the man who stands for women’s dignity and respect. I want them to know that they don’t owe their parents anything. I want them to know that their wives are as human as they are! I think though our society stress raising empowered daughters, it is equally important to raise our sons to live with these independent women!
Dear Sons, don’t let your father be a lesson to you. Please be a better man than your father; Be the men that women deserve, be the men that our society needs. Be the REAL MAN!