Staying in the toxic marriage is difficult. But, what is even more difficult is to step out of toxic marriage and go back to your parents’ place. Your move to step back into your father’s house after moving out of your marriage will ruin their honor forever. The daughter, who has always thought of making her father happy, can’t even think to harm his parent’s name and reputation – This was my thought as struggled in a toxic marriage just for the sake of my parents’ reputation.
While I was ready to burn myself in the toxic marriage, it was my father who took a stand for me and made me realize how my attempt to move out of failed marriage wouldn’t ruin his name. Rather would make him a proud father of a strong daughter!
After suffering for 2 years in a toxic marriage, one day a phone call with my father changed my whole perspective of marriage, home, society and life!
Me: Hello, Papa! How are you (I called up my father in a really shaky voice! Though I was trying hard to sound strong and relaxed, my voice gave a hint to my father that something is wrong!)
Papa: Reshu beta, what happened? What’s wrong!
Me: Nothing papa! Just wanted to speak with you! I was missing you and mummy!
Not convinced with my answer, my father once again asked the same question, but this time more sternly!
Papa: Tell me beta, what happened! I know something is wrong! If you won’t tell us, whom will you tell? We are you parents! (After his consistent persuasion, I couldn’t keep it to myself and finally opened up my heart t him!)
Me: Papa, I don’t feel comfortable here after marriage.
Papa: Why not, Beta? Tushar is a good husband and everything has been nice from past two years. What happened? What is the problem? (I couldn’t contain my tears anymore and started sobbing heavily!)
Me: Well papa, otherwise Tushar is very nice but when he gets angry, he becomes someone else…. Like yesterday he pushed me and even hit me…And I don’t know why but it was hard to tolerate…I am sorry… I am giving you stress unnecessarily!
Papa: I am so shocked that being my daughter, the girl I have raised with great values, you are telling me this!
Me: I know Papa. I never wanted to embarrass you or you to feel ashamed of because of me. I know society will talk at your back. I don’t want to bring dishonor to our family. I am trying hard to make things better. I am making sure that I don’t make him angry but it isn’t working…I am sorry… I will adjust and make this work. (But my words still left my father shocked and disgusted.)
Papa: Reshu, being my daughter how did you believe that for me values mean that my daughter keeps tolerating violence. I am shocked that you think I would want you to put up with this kind of behavior even for a day, for a minute. You are a piece of my heart; You are priceless to me and your happiness is my reason to live.
Me: But, Papa what about society! They will shame or blame you!
Papa: Reshu, I don’t want you to please the society by giving up your own happiness. Society didn’t give birth to you! I did! Beta, your father is alive! Your home is wherever I am…where you have respect! Pack your bags, you need not live even for a minute in a home where you are not loved. You are capable; You are strong… And you still have me! Mummy and I are coming to take you back to your home! This home will be yours forever!
Its been a year and I am staying with my parents as I wait for my divorce proceedings. Every day, I hope every girl has parents like mine; no girl should ever be told to suffer in abusive marriage or live with broken souls who leave no stone unturned to break you!