This Heart-touching Letter To Mother-in-law From Daughter-in-law on how she is trying hard to be part of family but still feels like an outsider and not a part of the family!
Dear Mother-In-Law,
Yesterday, when you asked me why I didn’t treat this home as my own? I was stumped. I was too emotional to say anything at that particular moment.But, later in the night, I kept tossing in my bed thinking if I should ignore your words and feeling or should I gather the courage to put across my point-of-view? Definitely, ignoring your words would have been a much easier option to avoid any sort of conflicts or hard-feelings but I chose to take a difficult path of sharing my thoughts in a hope that it might improve our relationship.
Before I answer your question – ask yourself honestly – did you ever accept me as a part of your family?
Don’t get me wrong I am very happy to be part of this family. With your loving son by my side, my life is extremely beautiful. But, when I got married, you promised my parents that I am your daughter now. You promised them that you would treat me as your own child and would make me a part of your family. (ALSO READ: Letter to Mother-in-law from Daughter-in-law: Respect Is Two Way Street; When You Can’t Respect Me Then Don’t Expect It Back)
But did it really happen? Do you treat me like your own daughter?
For a long time, I kept quiet to make sure that you are not hurt. But, when you asked me that question yesterday I felt hurt. And, I was left no other option but to speak up. If you would ask yourself honestly – why I don’t treat this home as my own, you will definitely find the answer. After having married for more than two years, I would like to ask you how long would it take for me to be a part of your family? That’s all I want to know! (ALSO READ: Difference Between Bahu and Beti? Kareena Kapoor Asks Her Mother-In-Law Sharmila Tagore)
It is so sad to know that family to which my husband belongs, is still not mine.
You might be wondering why am I saying this. Sadly, on multiple occasions, it felt it’s only yours and my husbands’ home. Why is it fine for your son to wake up late but not fine for me? If it was my house, I would be able to wake up a bit late without being judged.
If it was my home, I could be allowed to plan my day according to my needs while ensuring that I made my time for family, work, and little for myself. You encourage your son to be ambitious but whenever I share about my aspiration, you don’t leave a moment to tell me that I am a wife first and a professional later.(ALSO READ: Letter To Parents After Marriage: I’m Wife Now But That Doesn’t Mean Am Not Your Daughter)
When you are not well, I make sure you are taken care of very well, but when my mother is not well, I need to seek permission to stay with her for a day or two?
Why can’t I make a decision on my own, why I am expected to seek permission? Tell me, how can I consider you as my parents, how can I consider your home like mine? When will you accept me as a part of your family? That’s all I want to know!
Because I am tired of being homeless now. Yes, Homeless!
The saddest thing is, even my parental home is not my home anymore. My visits become a topic of how frequently should I visit or ‘What my in-laws would think about it’! (ALSO READ: It Is Useless To Raise Independent Daughters If You Don’t Teach Men To Respect Them)
I wish soon a day will come when I will be treated as an equal part of this family! The day when I will feel free to suggest or make a decision here?
I will be eagerly waiting for that day! The day when I don’t have to pretend to be someone else. When I can celebrate myself! Hope you will give our relationship a chance and embrace me as your daughter!
P.S.: Dear Society, Please let the daughter in your daughter-in-law come out as she is married into your family. Don’t be Parent-in-laws’ to her but be a Parent! Because she deserves it!
*This letter to mother-in-law from a daughter-in-law has been shared by our community member as a part of the Open Letters Series. In case you want to share a letter written to your kid, family, or friend, do share to be published on IForHer.
